2/10/2011

There Will Be Bloods

E-mail Submitted by Robbie:

Listen up slime!  I'm here to set you straight and tell you what's what!  I'm here now to dominate, educate, and not tolerate!  You are but a lowly man and I am going to set you straight!

First thing you will do is lick the soles of my feet, and then you can work your way up to the rest of me if you are good!  You are nothing but slime and I will have to teach you a lesson!  Many lessons, if you are lucky!  You will wash me with sweet-smelling soaps and I will wash you with brillo!  I don't care if you bleed!  I will wash myself in your bloods!

Best of all?  You will thank me for letting me do this!  I will pain you until you thank me down on your knees!  THEN WE WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN AND YOU WILL GIVE ME MORE THANKS AND MORE PRAISE!  I am worthy and you are nothing.

Eat everything I give you.  You will offer me thanks.

Charlene
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12 comments:

  1. Claire (and Nikki)2/10/2011 10:31 AM

    tl;dr

    What dating site was this posted on?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Captain Awesome2/10/2011 11:04 AM

    Is it weird that I am incredibly turned on right about now?

    ReplyDelete
  3. neko2/10/2011 11:15 AM

    Craig, no.

    ReplyDelete
  4. theMediator2/10/2011 11:23 AM

    Well, at least she's honest about her intentions... right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2/10/2011 8:43 PM

    Come on Nikki, a tl;dr on 4 short paragraphs? I'm shocked!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mellor2/10/2011 11:54 PM

    Yeah if this was on a fetish dating site it doesn't really count, but if this is her standard email out on a regular dating site, I'm impressed. Wonder how often it works...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Claire (and Nikki)2/11/2011 9:56 AM

    :-* Hi Coriolanus! I've missed you!

    And yes, I tl;dr'd it, mainly because I got the basic gist of it after the first paragraph, so there was no need to continue reading some psycho dominatrix's way to find new subs. There's other websites for that nonsense, not a dating site.

    ReplyDelete
  8. SE72/11/2011 10:09 AM

    I'm not even a guy, and I'm terrified.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Error2/11/2011 11:54 AM

    I was hoping there was a note at the bottom from the recipient telling us more! Was this shit just random? Loving the emails Jared.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2/12/2011 5:06 PM

    Well Nikki, I'm glad you missed me. I really haven't been away, I just don't comment so much because I don't have the sage advice/witty comments that people like yourself and others possess.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Claire (and Nikki)2/14/2011 11:13 AM

    ^Flattery will get you everywhere, love. Will you be my special Valentine Troll? <3 :D <3

    ReplyDelete
  12. Marnen Laibow-Koser10/05/2015 7:18 PM

    Femdom fail.

    ReplyDelete

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