E-mail Submitted by Cora:
SCIENTIFIC SURVEY BEGINS NOW:
I'm a scientist working nearby at a major scientist university/college. I want to know something for science. When you have sex from behind is it up on tables or usually on a bed? I'm asking for a scientific survey I'm doing.
Please answer forth survey how high the tables are, if your legs dangled off them, and what the tables were made of and how it felt against your skin. Again I'm not a perv this is for science purposes scientific survey.
Also how long are your legs and how often have you had sex on tables? Science answers only please.
Thank you for your participation.
END OF SCIENTIFIC SURVEY:
"I am government man come from the government. The government has sent me." - GIR, Invader ZIM
ReplyDelete"Do you give head on a first date? I'm asking for a scientific survey."
ReplyDeleteI love you, JMG! XD
ReplyDeleteDOOM, DOOM, DOOM . . .
Sounds legit. I hope you answered truthfully and honestly. Who knows what incredible scientific advancements you may be hindering by not answering.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the email I got from a man claiming to work for the government going door-to-door giving breast exams. I was supposed to send my address and a time that I would be home.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm sure it was legit, right? haha
Everyone knows that only true scientists indicate they're doing experiments or surveys at least three times. If you don't hear the words "science" or "survey" at least thrice, I'm afraid it's a scam.
ReplyDeleteI got a pervy call like this when I was twelve, pervert wanting to know all kinds of sexual things for a "medical survey." It was scary as he knew WAY too much about me before I even opened my mouth. Never found out who he was.
ReplyDeleteThat said - couch, no, nice and velvety. Oh, also - fuck if I know and never? Usually end up on the floor. Tables are useless. Desks work alright, but you have to make a mess to get in there.
Error- You forgot in the shower as a place that works well.
ReplyDelete^ Never been a fan of the shower for a bend over. The little shower stalls work good for a leg up, but tub/showers just mean somebody's out in the cold.
ReplyDeleteExcellent input though, I'm sure the scientist will add that to the list!
Cheri, I was yawning when I read your comment and started choking because I couldn't yawn and laugh at the same time. Good show.
ReplyDeleteJared: SOLID REFERENCE.
Error: I was stuck in traffic at a particularly long stoplight with my windows down and a middle aged white guy in the car to my right started asking me questions about whether or not I let my boyfriend spank me and all sorts of other things. I didn't know what to do, so I just started making stuff up. Unfortunately, I didn't have power windows, so there was no escape.
Also, I'm old-fashioned: I like beds for all my doggy-style needs. My scientist fiance is much taller than I am, so the science of doing it standing up or on other surfaces leaves us few options.
^Cheri, it occurs to me that I phrased my comment to you incorrectly. I meant to convey that as I happened to start reading your comment, I was in the middle of a yawn, and due to my appreciation of your humor, I started choking. My apologies.
ReplyDelete