The Last Unicorn

Story Submitted by Joshua:

Erin, who was a 24-year-old, and I were walking through a street fair on our first date. We had been having a nice time. She played a handmade flute that one of the vendors was selling, and I bought it for her. All was well.

At the end of the street was a merry-go-round, which had been brought in especially for the fair. Erin went nuts. She ran up to it, pointed, and screamed.

"You like merry-go-rounds?" I asked her.

She nodded and pointed at it again, as if I didn't see it the first time. She said, "I wanna ride the unicorn!"

Out of all the merry-go-round horses, tigers, and giraffes, there was a single, white unicorn — the apple of Erin's eye. She had to ride it.

We stood in line, and finally our turn came. There were plenty of people in front of us, so by the time we made it up there, the unicorn was taken.

"Fuck," Erin said, "I want to ride the unicorn."

I asked the ride operator if we could wait for the next go-round, and he was nice enough to let us. Erin kept her eyes on the unicorn the entire time, and didn't seem to hear my attempts at conversation.

Finally, the ride stopped and Erin grabbed the unicorn at once. She was so happy. But there was a little girl behind us in line, who couldn't have been older than six, who had obviously had her own little heart set on the unicorn. She cried in the arms of her mother and pointed, very similar to how Erin had pointed, herself.

The mother approached us and asked, "Would it be all right if we rode the unicorn?"

Erin said, "I don't believe this. We've been waiting for it. Ride on something else!"

I said to Erin, "She's only six."

"Tell her to get used to disappointment."

I looked at the mother, who held her little girl tightly and said, "Come on, sweetheart, let's go away from the mean people."

I said, "Erin, come on. Let her ride the unicorn."

Erin said, "I'm not giving up the unicorn for anybody. We waited for it. End of conversation."

The woman and girl found another mount, and I climbed onto a steed beside Erin. Erin herself stroked the unicorn like it was an actual flesh-and-blood creature. She ignored me for the duration of the ride, and after it was over, she danced off the unicorn, into the crowd, and away from me. I didn't follow her.


  1. Not to play devil's advocate here, but she did wait extra time for the unicorn, the kid could've just done the same. And maybe mom could've used the situation to teach her a lesson about being patient and waiting your turn, instead of calling them "mean people".
    Just saying, I'm not that spoiled.

  2. I'm sick of people who think having a kid entitles them to special privileges. The mom and little girl could have waited another round just like the two of you did instead of walking up and requesting preferential treatment with the implication that if you don't give it to them you're a horrible person.

  3. Joshua's kind of a jackass, Erin did wait specifically for the unicorn & the mum & daughter combo could've waited too. No one's actually wrong here except Joshua, if I were a parent I'd want to make my child happy so I'd ask (unaware that it is a big deal) to let my daughter ride the unicorn & Erin had waited her turn. Joshua should've at least tried to explain to the mum that Erin had waited instead of telling her to "Let her ride the unicorn".. though a six year old crying is also kind of a jackass.. I'm not sure what I actually think.


  4. Let's get real for a minute here. We're talking about the failure of a 24-year old woman to empathize with a 6-year old little girl, something she SHOULD have been able to do given their shared desire. I love her response too: "Get used to disappointment." These are not the words of a compassionate individual.

  5. I agree with most...kids are too fucking spoiled these days...wait another round ya 6 year old brat! Clearly the 24 year old is also a result of being spoiled as a child..

  6. Why do kids deserve more empathy? Most of them are instinctively selfish creatures until the parenting process has instilled values like empathy in them. They certainly don't deserve any special treatment.

    Not everyone has a soft spot for kids, and guess what? We're not bad people because of it! Picture your reaction if it has been an 16-year old whining to her mom about wanting to ride the unicorn and you'll get a better sense of how Erin perceived the situation.

  7. I can understand the mother asking the first time; she probably figured Erin, as an adult, wouldn't care which one she rode. Once Erin said no, though, she had no reason to treat them as though they were bad people. Make your kid wait their damn turn like everyone else.

    To the people who say Erin was harsh to tell the kid to "get used to disappointment": That may be, but she wouldn't have said it if the mother had left after Erin told her they had waited. As for Joshua, he just saw the situation differently and wanted to be nice to a kid. Hopefully he has learned that not everyone cares about kids as much as he does.

  8. I agree and disagree with a lot of the comments so far.

    Yes, kids don't deserve preferential treatment and everything handed to them. But on the other hand, being a bitch to a six year old isn't ok either.

  9. Am I the only one who thought that it was kinda creepy that a 24 year old was actually that obsessed with riding the unicorn on a carousel? Regardless of her feelings towards kids, she was acting like one herself. Kinda a turn off on a date.

  10. She is a 24 year old. It was an effing unicorn. If she gives enough of a shit to insist on riding a unicorn on a merry-go-round, maniacally - I say he did the right thing by getting away from her.
    Sure - kids are spoiled brats, but I guess lunatic bitch wins that fight?

    She's making a new boyfriend for herself out of her vast collection of stuffed animals in her basement. This I can guarantee.

  11. ^ I actually agree that her creaming herself over a carousel was silly, probably because I personally wouldn't have given a fuck about a carousel, but I guess there are people who find that stuff exciting.

    I just found the mother's attitude more irritating the girl's because I've met parents who think their little speshul snowflakes should get what they want when they want and anyone who doesn't comply is a big 'ol meanie.

    Running away at the very end was weird, though.

  12. I'm with those who think that freaking out on a fucking mythological creature like that is a sign of mild mental illness. Unless you'r six years old.

  13. I like the unicorn girl in this story. The guy is the bad date. People don't have a right to anything they feel their kids need that you have.

  14. Sorry, but I think that this Erin character should go home and play with her toys and just forget about having an adult social life until she learns to conduct herself in a manner appropriate to her age group!

  15. I think I know of a certain future cat woman who will also get to know disappointment well.

  16. Hey, you're right. Kids don't deserve any special treatment. It's not like they are still developing or learning about the world or anything. Let them work in those fucking coal mines just like dad, or spool thread in the textile factory 'till their long hair gets caught in the machines and kills the fuck out of them. Or maybe Erin could have asked to see the little girl's plush unicorn and just walked off with it. Serves the little bitch right for being so stupid to fall for something like that.

    Of course, it could be that Erin is just as spoiled and has never had to grow the fuck up. At least a six year old has an excuse for being selfish; by the time someone is 24 I would imagine that she would have developed to the point that she can feel empathy or even courtesy with a little girl who wants to go for a fucking MERRY GO ROUND ride. And before any stupid bitches snap back at me, remember that "Tell her to get used to disappointment" isn't exactly a courteous thing to say.

    If that doesn't make any sense to you, gentle reader, you need to consider your own arrested development, because it's basically the cornerstone of something called maturity.

  17. Kids are not miniature adults, there is no reason why we should expect them to act as such. No, the girl wasn't entitled to the unicorn, but Erin acted like an entitled brat herself. Erin's behavior was appalling and I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with someone like that either.

  18. Anony, just because kids aren't like adults doesn't make them automatically entitled to special treatment - unless they're your own kids in which case I guess you're legally required to give a shit about what they want. Not that I think you're overreacting though, because being denied a particular seat on a merry go round, or having to wait for it, is EXACTLY LIKE WORKING IN A COAL MINE.

    Having said that, I think Erin is a tool and that it was the mum that was in the wrong. It wasn't wrong for her to ask, but teaching her child that a person who doesn't give them what they want is 'mean' is going to be fun for her later when the kid is 12 and wants a tattoo.

    I just object to children's rights being extended to giving your stuff to some stranger's kid (definition of stuff here extended to include time spent).

  19. Am I the ONLY ONE who noticed that Sawyer ended his comment signed with Baku's name? Anyone? WTF was that?

    I only feel like adding that when I took my 1 1/2 year old niece on a carousel last summer, we waited patiently for a few rounds so she could ride the chicken. Every time it passed by she screamed, "HELLO CHICKEEENNNN!!!" and the little boy riding it waved at her. When she got to ride it (twice b/c the operator was nice), she waved to everyone and had a ball.

  20. Yes you were. What the fuck indeed. I can't figure any sort of reference or reason as to why. I thought maybe he was going to respond to something she said, but he on here first.

    I'm so confused, and suspicious. AND Sawyers commend was awfully nice...

  21. Nikki - I noticed. What's more, I vaguely remember it happening before. I'm assuming that Sawyer thought I was going to say something like that.

  22. I think the kid and especially the kid's mama should have waited their turn. I would have been annoyed at the OP if he was my date. Erin had to wait for the unicorn, the kid needs to learn the lesson that good things come to those who wait.

    - Sawyer86

  23. My friend who I just showed the story to empathizes with the OP. He said that Erin was crazy. My other friend said that's some ol bullshit and the kid has to learn that you can't always get what you want.


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