Clown School Reject

Story Submitted by Greta:

Roger and I were out to dinner at a pretty nice place on our date. He told a lot of jokes, and no one laughed harder at them than himself.

In the midst of telling me an especially raunchy joke that I didn't ask to hear, he accidentally knocked his silverware to the floor, under the table.  He went down on his hands and knees to recover them.

While he was down there, I felt the sensation of pressure on my feet, so I backed my chair away and looked down.

He had tried to tie my shoes together with one of his own undone shoelaces. He looked up at me from under the table and said, "Come on back so I can finish up."

"Finish up what?"

"Tying your shoes together."

I stared at him and said, "No."

He said, "Come on! It'll be funny. You'll get up, trip, and fall flat on your face!"

He laughed. I flagged down the waiter and asked for the check. Roger ignored that and repeated his request for me to slide back to the table and allow him to make an idiot out of me.

The check arrived while Roger was still under the table. I asked, "Roger, can you climb back up to your seat?"

He shifted his position and remained down there. I paid for my share of dinner, then stood up and left. Clearly, he had never been on a proper date before, although I certainly wasn't going to be the one to teach him how to act like an adult.


  1. I'm interested to find out how old this guy was. I mean, it's obvious he wasn't well adjusted.

    Also, I probably would have just left instead of paying for anything. But it looks like you have more integrity than I do.

  2. I would have waited for him to put his hand on my foot again, then stepped on his fingers...

  3. She left him under the table like an ass! Besides, it's not funny if they already know about it. Duh.

    Anyone hear about the theory and apparent practice of using clowns to entertain women after they get IVF treatments? I think this guy needs to sign up for a class.

  4. Theres nothing wrong with that funny dude. At least hes social and talkative and has the balls to pull off pranks.

    Hes just not OPs type.

  5. @Float

    Climbing under a table in a crowded restaurant in order to tie someone's shoes together is not a "prank". It's a stupid an immature joke that is funny for no one except yourself.

  6. And furthermore @Float On

    It's not funny to anyone but us that someone would pursue a mark to let him complete a prank that relied solely on surprise to work. That is being clueless, not ballsy.

    @theMeditor - yes it would have exactly been a prank, had he been able to pull it off. A prank is a mischievous trick; a joke is generally verbal, and also sometimes a prank. Mediate that.

  7. Oh, this turned out better than I expected. When she said he stayed under the table I assumed she was going to find him taking upskirt pictures.

  8. ^Thank you! TOTES didn't expect a shoelaces gag. I thought it was going to be inappropriate underpants shots or attempts at oral sex. Now I'm kinda disappointed. :(


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