E-mail Submitted by Drake:
I almost never do this but I had to write you. Have you ever felt an instinctual feeling about someone else, like you'd rather die than not talk to them? That's how I felt about your profile.
Please don't judge, but I like to urinate on plain popcorn and imagine people eating it. I've never fed it to anyone but I'd like to someday. If that is something you think you might be interested in, please write back. If not, I'll understand. I just saw how accomplished you were and had to ask. Thank you for your time.
Erica
...hmmm...depends...do you use a lot of salt in your diet? Also...do you wipe back to front or front to back...?
ReplyDeleteWhat does her being "accomplished" have to do with her desire to watch people eat urine soaked popcorn?
ReplyDeleteThis really begs the question - what is Drake accomplished in that makes him such a strong candidate for this activity?
ReplyDeleteOh baby, you look so skilled, I just gotta pee all over your face. And then crap on your chest. Doesn't that sound hot?
ReplyDeleteI've seen such things done live and honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a look of ecstasy on the takers face. It's usually more of the look you have right before you're gonna puke.
Dan Savage's wise dating advice for those with extreme fetishes is to date and disclose. This DOES NOT WORK if you do it the other way around, as Erica so kindly demonstrated for us.
ReplyDeleteNice Agnes, that's exactly the post we needed for branding such emails. "Shoulda Taken Savage Advice."
ReplyDelete