Score One for the Big Guy

Story Submitted by Alex:

I met Maura through a mutual friend while we were out at a bar.  I had a spare Rasputina ticket and invited her out to their concert.  She said she'd come with, and that we could hang out after the show.

I picked her up from her house the night of the date and we went off to the concert. We talked for a while and she seemed very cool. Not long after we arrived at the show and grabbed a couple of drinks, we were both surprised by the arrival of Maura's friend, Keith.

She asked, "Keith, what are you doing here?"

He said, "When you told me you were going to the concert, I grabbed a ticket.  Sounded like fun."

Potential adversary?  You just wait.

All parties drank copious alcohol, the band was really good, and we danced. Dancing led to touching, and touching led to grinding.  Maura seemed comfortable with the way things were going, but I didn't want to take advantage of her.

"You're fine," she reassured me.

After a couple of songs, Keith pulled her away from me to grind her, himself.  I sensed a strong homophobic vibe around him, so I danced into his personal space and made vaguely suggestive comments at him. Not the best idea, but bear in mind that we were all rather drunk at the time.  He became really hostile to me after that point.

Near the end of the concert, I was mostly sobered up, but Maura was trashed.  Keith insisted to Maura, "Alex is too drunk to drive.  I'm driving you home."  First of all, Maura had already said that she wanted to hang out with me after the concert. And second of all, who was this guy to just start laying down rules for my date?

I told Keith, "Go screw yourself."

He didn't take kindly to that, and Maura excused herself to use the bathroom.  Keith followed her. I figured that he'd probably intercept her and lead her out of the concert when she exited the restroom.  I positioned myself near the exit. Sure enough, Keith showed up right on schedule, supporting the drunk Maura on his arm.

"Hey there!" I said with a smile.  I put an arm around Maura, she leaned comfortably back into me, and together we turned to leave the venue.  Keith shoved me, but it had no real effect, as I've worked out for years while he was a skinny little nothing. Then, he tried to grab Maura.

It was one thing to spoil my date, be insulting to me, and even physically provoke me. Dangerous, perhaps, but still within the bounds of vaguely human behavior. But when I saw this guy grab at my date, I pushed him away from her.

When we made it outside, Keith pulled out his cell phone, dialed three digits, and turned the phone to me to show that he had dialed 911. 

"Hello?" he said into the phone, "I'm in Central Square right now, and we have a problem."

I snatched the phone out of his hand and threw it about two blocks down the street. Maura asked "Why'd you do that?"

I said, "Because he was calling 911 on me."

She asked, "Why?"

"I don't know.  Do you feel threatened by me?"


"Then it's a mystery," I said, and led her off.

Suddenly, Keith grabbed my arm.  "Run Maura, run!" he yelled, "I'll hold him off!" 

I easily was able to twist his arm into what was very likely an uncomfortable position for him.  I said, "If you touch me again, I will break your arm. I'm not kidding."

I released him and flagged down a taxi easy enough, put Maura safely inside, gave the cab driver $20 and told him to take her to her home address. Before closing the door, I asked her if a goodnight kiss would be inappropriate, and she gave me two very long and sweet kisses on the mouth, while Keith fumed in the background.

Things never went much further between Maura and I, but our first date isn't one I'll ever forget.


  1. I.....am not entirely on your side here, OP. I could go into it more, but it started with chucking the phone (I doubt it was two blocks) and not letting him call 911 on you, when you were easily sober enough to explain the situation to the police when they arrived.

  2. If he could pitch a cellphone 2 blocks, he should be in the major leagues.

    But I can understand not wanting to involve the police, especially when it was the other guy making the call. They'd want to talk to him first and would have heard his side of the story before Alex's. And with Maura too drunk to adequately defend herself or her date, this was probably the best thing that could have happened.

    No one got hurt, she got home safe.

  3. I would LOVE to hear this story from Keith's point of view.

  4. Mostly agreed Nikki, no need to chuck the idiots phone. Should have just continued walking away and let him try to explain why he called fucking 911. Although, sounds like Keith was a gnat and this was probably the last straw.

    That said, I think I'm in love. I think he handled the rest of this spectacularly and I adore his confidence in himself and his date.

  5. Strangely enough, I think the OP sounds like a really immature person...and that situation had enough immaturity already.

  6. I don't think the OP is immature in this situation. Dealing with police is never good.

  7. The police part wasn't my issue....it was the "MY DRUNK WOMAN, YOU OTHER MAN, YOU GO WAY" caveman behavior that bothered me.


  9. Look, this is immature.
    "I sensed a strong homophobic vibe around him, so I danced into his personal space and made vaguely suggestive comments at him."
    Funny, yes. Mature, no. It's looking for trouble.

    Or this moment,when the OP is such a reliable narrator..."Keith shoved me, but it had no real effect, as I've worked out for years while he was a skinny little nothing." I'm sure the OP is as buff as Popeye.

    Something about this OP just bothered me. It seemed caveman like. Or maybe just absurd. He jumped right into the cock fight, which probably wasn't best for his date.

    Then again, if you have creepy friends like his date had, you shouldn't get so drunk you can't speak up for yourself....

  10. I agree, J.L.B., OP seemed to be escalating things, even thought the other guy was annoying. Plus, yeah, there's just something off about OP.


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