Order in the Snort

**Twitter user?  Fan of ABCotD?  Tell Mashable editor Brenna_E that you dig us!  Thank you!**

Story Submitted by Clay:

Sandra, unfortunately, had some weird habits. Fortunately, she brought them all out to play on our first date, so that at least I was well-informed enough to make a judgment call about a second date.

We were at a restaurant, and the conversation went well enough. Sandra must have had a cold, because she sniffled enough to drive me up a wall. As the evening drew on, her sniffles graduated into full-blown, Richter-scale snorts.

A one point, I handed her a paper napkin and she looked at it as if I had handed her a pile of dirt. "What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked.

"Blow your nose," I suggested, and she did. Oh, what a blow she blew. One paltry napkin was not enough, and goo sprayed out a bit onto herself.

"Shit," she said, "Thanks a lot," and went off to the bathroom, as if it was my fault that she just couldn't blow her nose correctly.

Our food was delivered while she was away and I waited for her to start. When she came back, she called the waiter over to say, "I didn't order this."

He looked at his notepad and read, "Chicken Caesar salad?  That's what I have down for you."

She said, "I didn't order chicken Caesar."

The thing is, she did.  Not 15 minutes earlier.  What was she on?

Still, the customer is always right, so I shut up while the waiter took her salad away and put in her new order of roast beef sandwich.  She then looked at me and snorted a mighty snort.

"Stop snorting!" I snapped.

"I have mucus in my nose!" she explained, "If I don't suck it in then it'll drip onto the table.  Would you prefer that?"

"I'd prefer it if you blew your nose."

"Remember how well that went?  Hello?  Remember how well that went a minute ago?"

"Maybe if you used more than one tissue and didn't dump the entire contents of your nose out into one.  Have you ever blown your nose before?"

She stood up, left the table, and returned with a huge handful of paper napkins.  She placed them in a stack on the table, and blew her nose in each one, a tiny amount, then balled up the napkin and tossed it onto the table.

She did this for a little bit and I tried not to let it bother me until one of her balled-up napkins ended up in my food.  I picked it off quickly, then took my plate, went to the waiters' station, asked for a box, boxed it up, paid for my food, and left her there.


  1. OP sounds like your the snot nose. She was probably glad you left

  2. I second Craig. I know snorting and sniffling can be annoying, but when someone has a cold, what else are they supposed to do?

    If the OP had been my date I'd have thrown the snotty tissue at him the first time, then left.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. "When someone has a cold, what else are they supposed to do?"
    Blow their nose? Just an idea.

  5. This may be a rare occasion where I feel worse for the other person.

    I can't blow my nose. Never have been able to since I was a kid (and yes, I've tried). When I get a cold, it's usually accompanied by frequent trips to the bathroom and tons of tissue paper. So, when you can't get to the bathroom that often, and you can't blow your nose, the only two options are to let your nose run or snort.

    Granted, she did handle it a bit... poorly... Me, I'd either cancel the date, or just go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. But seriously, if this was the only "weird habit", it hardly seems like something to get worked up over. KF

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. I don't know how the rest of you stand it, but I am with the OP on this one. Having to sit across the table and listen to someone sucking copious quantities of snot down their gullet does a number on my appetite and my sanity. It was still kind of disgusting when one of the tissues landed in his food and he still boxed it up and took it home to eat it.

  8. "The customer is always right, so I shut up while the waiter took her salad away and put in her new order of roast beef sandwich"
    OP is one of THOSE customers whom all retail workers despise.

  9. ^Did you even read the post? The OP is not one of "those" customers, his date was.

  10. ^ I think Ashley is referring to the fact that the OP believes the customer is always right.

  11. I'm with Ashley here, notwithstanding the whole snot part of the story which, in itself might not have made the date a total idiot, she did order something and then tell the waiter off and ordered something else, which in itself makes her a complete bitch. Still, the OP handed her a napkin to clearly tell her to stop snorting and blow her nose, but he was too chicken to tell her off for sending back the food she ordered? Meh The customer may always be right (though they really aren't), but if he knew she wasn't, why the hell did he let it slide...

  12. Sandra acted like a complete brat. The stack of napkins was just ridiculous, although I do agree the OP doesn't sound too great either.

  13. What do you do when your nose is running like a faucet? CANCEL YOUR DATE. Snotty face is not sexy. Neither is passive aggressiveness. Sandra was a twat.

  14. 1) She should have taken care of her snot problem before sitting down for the date. Excusing yourself to go to the bathroom is allowed.
    2) Ordering a salad and then switching to a sandwich when it got there is a bitch move, betcha that sandwich came with a little extra sauce special from the kitchen.
    3) Acting childish and haphazardly tossing snotty napkins around the table is just unbelievable.

    4) I don't know what the OP was talking about weird habits. She was sick and didn't care of it properly. End of story.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.