Muffin Bluffin'

Story Submitted by Brandi:

Andy wrote me online and he seemed especially fascinated with the fact that I bake.  I told him that muffins were a specialty, and he asked me what I used for ingredients.  I listed them off, including nutmeg.

"No on nutmeg," he said, "I'm allergic."

I wrote back, "That's fine.  I can leave it out."

We spoke for a few weeks and I invited him over to my apartment for a Saturday morning brunch.  I promised to make him muffins without nutmeg.  It was easy enough to leave out.

He showed up in a good mood, we spoke for a bit, had a light meal, and I gave him a muffin, one of about a dozen I had made.

He took a couple of bites before his chewing slowed and he gave me a dark look.  He said, "There's nutmeg in here."

I replied, "Nope.  Not even a little bit."

He stood, knocked his chair over, and said, "No, there is," and he stumbled and fell over.  He even twitched a bit on the ground for full effect.

I ignored the theatrics and asked him how he enjoyed them, otherwise.  Then, he started drooling on my carpet, and I had enough.  I said, "Door's over there, whenever you're done," and I even went and opened it for him.

He remained on my floor for at least an hour before I went off to do something on my computer.  By the time I came back to check on him, he and most of the muffins were gone.


  1. That has got to be the lamest method ever to trick someone into giving you mouth-to-muffin resuscitation.

  2. I would have never left this freak alone in my house. The moment he refused to knock it off I would have phoned for the police and an ambulance.

    Let him pay for the charges when they got there.

  3. I agree on the calling the police and ambulance front, especially as he might not have been kidding..


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