Story Submitted by Brandi:
Andy wrote me online and he seemed especially fascinated with the fact that I bake. I told him that muffins were a specialty, and he asked me what I used for ingredients. I listed them off, including nutmeg.
"No on nutmeg," he said, "I'm allergic."
I wrote back, "That's fine. I can leave it out."
We spoke for a few weeks and I invited him over to my apartment for a Saturday morning brunch. I promised to make him muffins without nutmeg. It was easy enough to leave out.
He showed up in a good mood, we spoke for a bit, had a light meal, and I gave him a muffin, one of about a dozen I had made.
He took a couple of bites before his chewing slowed and he gave me a dark look. He said, "There's nutmeg in here."
I replied, "Nope. Not even a little bit."
He stood, knocked his chair over, and said, "No, there is," and he stumbled and fell over. He even twitched a bit on the ground for full effect.
I ignored the theatrics and asked him how he enjoyed them, otherwise. Then, he started drooling on my carpet, and I had enough. I said, "Door's over there, whenever you're done," and I even went and opened it for him.
He remained on my floor for at least an hour before I went off to do something on my computer. By the time I came back to check on him, he and most of the muffins were gone.
2/02/2011
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That has got to be the lamest method ever to trick someone into giving you mouth-to-muffin resuscitation.
ReplyDeleteI would have never left this freak alone in my house. The moment he refused to knock it off I would have phoned for the police and an ambulance.
ReplyDeleteLet him pay for the charges when they got there.
I agree on the calling the police and ambulance front, especially as he might not have been kidding..
ReplyDelete