Millions of Ants Dead, Thanks to You

Story Submitted by Steven:

This happened to me back in high school.  I asked one of my classmates, Susie, out on a date.  We set up a time to meet for dinner, but she called to ask me if we could push it back.  Her 17-year-old cousin was staying with her family and he had only just arrived, and so she needed some extra time to prepare.

When I picked her up at her house, just around sundown, she emerged from her house with a huge smile and a small, foldable magnifying glass.  She asked, "Did you know that you can burn ants to pieces with a magnifying glass?"

I gave her a funny look and said, "That's mean to the ants."

She said, "They don't care!  Ever done it before?  Let me show you!  You just hold it above them and it's like a terror from the skies!"

She scanned the sidewalk.  I said, "I think you need the sun.  It's not just as simple as holding a magnifying glass up above their heads."

She stared at me for what seemed like an entire minute before her eyes widened and she said, "Ohhhhh..."

Clearly not a Nobel Prize winner.  Then, she asked, "Hey, can my cousin come with us on our date?  He's really funny."

So the three of us did dinner together.  It was less a date and more Susie trying to convince her cousin not to pour all of the salt in the restaurant table's salt shaker into his mouth (he ended up doing it all the same).  First and last date.