I Didn't Receive the "Time to Move on" Memo

Story Submitted by Sean:

My first evening out with Nicole was a success.  I liked what I found out about her, she looked great, and she laughed at my jokes, which is astonishing in its own right.  I had taken her out for dinner and bowling, and the conversation never stopped.  In fact, it's still probably the best first date I've ever had.  We shared a single kiss at the end of it, to top it all off.

What could have gone wrong, you ask?  How about waking up to an e-mail from her, long enough to require the slashing and burning of an entire rainforest, had I printed it out.  Its contents, to summarize, discussed how much she was in love with me, how she felt as though I was "the one," and went as far as to discuss the appearances and genders of our future children.

While flattering, such a thing seemed a bit like rushing it, and I called her to tell her so.  I put it in the most genteel way that I could, but it didn't fly with her.

After I had explained my point of view, she asked, "So, you don't love me.  Is that what you're saying?"

I said, "I think it's a little soon to be talking about love.  We just met last night."

"And you don't believe in love at first sight?"

"I don't think so," I said, "But I do believe in taking my time and seeing how things go.  If that's not how you go about things, then I'm sorry."

She said, "You are so sad," and hung up on me.

I guessed that I would not be hearing from her any longer, and made no effort to reach out to her.

Three weeks later, an e-mail arrived from her.  It was a good deal shorter than the last one, and said, "Where have you been?  I've been going to the restaurant almost every night since our first date, hoping to run into you.  Where would be a good place to meet for a drink?"

I deleted it, positive that she was trying to rip a response out of me.  It wasn't going to work, but she had made me curious.  A couple of days later, when I had some spare time, I went by the restaurant where we had our first date.  Sure enough, she was inside, having dinner by herself.

She didn't see me, and I took off after confirming that she was, in fact, insane.  I've heard from her a few times since, but I've never once responded.


  1. Sounds like a textbook emotional abuser. Manip you later!

  2. Perhaps she really had fallen in love with you 'at first sight'..

  3. I had a guy talking about what our kids would look like right after we had sex. I chuckled and didn't engage, but he kept at it and when I broke up with him two weeks later (for various reasons) he said "but you can't, our kids would be so beautiful!"

    Good to hear OP took the hint, when someone starts talking about kids and the rest of your lives together when you've just met, RUN and then HIDE.

  4. If someone claims to love you, like really love you & appears to be somewhat "unbalanced" ask them how much money they have to their name & demand like half or more of it for something ridiculous like a thousand tennis balls (because you like the smell). If the agree then they're really in love with you & clearly insane, if not then you can argue they're not really in love with you like they say they are. May not make much such but it passes the time...

  5. Just one spice short of a boiling bunny on your stove.


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