Why It's Stupid to Date Your Boss

Story Submitted by Mario:

Ruth worked at the Pottery Barn where I also worked.  She was a recent high school graduate, and I was in my senior year.  I thought she was attractive, and she thought the same about me.

The problem was that Ruth was my assistant manager.  Yes, I know it's stupid to date someone in a position of power over you.  It's not a mistake I'll repeat, thanks to this mess.

I had been working at the store for a couple of years.  Ruth and I had been together for about seven months when a new assistant manager position opened up.

Given my experience, I asked the store manager, Maya, to consider me.  Maya said that it was between myself and Willa, another sales associate.  Willa had been working there, part-time, for eight months, but she was in her 40s.  Still, experience is experience.

One day, Maya took Ruth and Jeff (the other assistant manager) out to lunch to decide who the next assistant manager would be.

They came back, and after closing, we had a store meeting.  The new assistant manager would be Willa!

I took Ruth aside and asked her how Jeff and Maya could justify making Willa the new assistant manager, especially given my experience.  I had assumed at this point that Ruth had lobbied for me, seeing as we were dating and all.

Ruth said, "They actually did want you for the job, but I told them that you'd probably be going off to college and so you wouldn't be a good choice."

I was stunned.  I said, "But I have no idea where I'm going to college.  I might be staying local so that I could keep the job.  Either way, that kind of decision is months and months away.  I could still be assistant manager in the meantime."

She said, "I want you to stay where you are."

I asked, "Is it because you like having me below you?"

She snapped, "No, and you're way out of line.  The conversation is over, or I'm writing you up."

I was so infuriated by this that I shouted, "Fine!  I quit!" and stormed out of the store.

Maya noticed, of course, and followed me out of the store.  She asked me what had happened, and I explained, without going into too much detail, that I didn't want to work at the store anymore, for my own reasons.

Ruth called me that night to try and patch things up, but I was done with her.  I ended up going away for college, and I haven't spoken to her since then.


  1. You threw a tantrum in public.

    Good for you.

  2. You expected your girlfriend to vouch for you and instead she gave her professional, unbiased opinion. You complained, she acted like a manager and told you you were out of line. You threw a tantrum.

    Am I missing something? Or did you just make yourself sound like a douchebag?

  3. I don't blame him for quitting, if she really snapped at him for asking a perfectly legitimate question. Bad boss, bad girlfriend. Ultimately, however, bad idea to date someone in any sort of position of power over you. It really is asking for trouble.

  4. Err.. what? I think she saved you the trouble of something more embarrassing in the future.

  5. @athpty - Yes, you did miss one thing. She lied to keep him below her. He said he hadn't mentioned anything about going away to college before that point.

  6. ...in the end, she was right...you went away to college. They promoted the right person and you are a sucky douchesicle for quitting like that.

  7. Whether or not he would have gone away to college if he had received that promotion... we'll never know.

  8. No, he said he didn't know where was going to college, not if.

    So, your girlfriend/boss, gave an unbiased opinion that turned out to be quite accurate, and you threw a fit because you weren't made assistant manager of a Pottery Barn. Really?

    I think there may be other stories on here about you.


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