The Second Amendment?

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Story Submitted by Dylan:

Where to begin with Amy? I found Amy on a dating site, and she didn't respond to my first e-mail until two weeks after I had sent it. And what was her response?

"Did you write to me?"

I wrote back, "Two weeks ago."

She wrote back an apologetic message, and filled it with all manner of questions for me. I commenced with talking to her via e-mail.

She'd ask me weird questions, like, "How much would I have to pay you to kiss another guy? How about to sleep with him?"

I took the questions in stride. She had told me that she was very open, and that she had even written a sex column at her college.

I told her that I likely wouldn't sleep with a guy no matter what was offered. She also kept asking me how much money I made as an architect. I'd always answer, "Enough," but that didn't stop her from asking me over and over.

She also asked me, "Do you like surprises?"  I found out why she asked me that soon enough.

We had been in contact for about a week when, on a Friday morning, at around 8am, someone rang my doorbell. It was Amy.

"Hi, Dylan!" she said.

I asked her, "What are you doing here?"

She said, "Oh, don't be so worried! I didn't stalk you or anything. I just looked you up in the whitepages! Want to do breakfast?"

I said, "I don't mean to be rude, but I have to get ready for work. Why are you here?"

She said, "Can I see where you work?"

I wanted to be away from her as quickly as possible, so I left home without breakfast. Thank goodness I was already showered and dressed! I grabbed my work case, ushered her out of the house, then locked it behind me.

"Are we going to where you work?" she asked.

I didn't answer her, but I climbed into my car and drove away. I saw in my rearview that she got into her car, possibly to follow me.

I was away before she could catch up. She texted me, "What about our date?"

I texted back, "It was kind of creepy to find you at my house this morning. Please don't do that again."

She texted back, "Why not?"

I wrote back, "Because I don't want you to do it.  Thank you."

She texted back, "WHYNOTWHYNOTWHYNOTWHYNOT??? ;)"

I ignored all of her other texts, and when I opened up my dating site e-mailbox, it was flooded with messages from her.

One that was particularly creepy read, "IKNOWWHEREYOULIVEIKNOWWHEREYOULIVEIKNOWWHEREYOULIVE..."

She sent torrents of texts (but oddly, never a phone call) until a few days later, when a chalk picture of two stick figures holding hands showed up on my front walk.  It was titled, "You and me," had a little heart, and was signed, "Amy."

It took a lot of effort to not call her up, but I didn't.  She was looking for a reaction, and I wasn't going to give it to her.  If I caught her on my property, I knew that I had options.

However, she disappeared after the chalk drawing.  Hopefully, she found a nice tree or trash can to be obsessed with, instead of me.