The Second Amendment?

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Story Submitted by Dylan:

Where to begin with Amy? I found Amy on a dating site, and she didn't respond to my first e-mail until two weeks after I had sent it. And what was her response?

"Did you write to me?"

I wrote back, "Two weeks ago."

She wrote back an apologetic message, and filled it with all manner of questions for me. I commenced with talking to her via e-mail.

She'd ask me weird questions, like, "How much would I have to pay you to kiss another guy? How about to sleep with him?"

I took the questions in stride. She had told me that she was very open, and that she had even written a sex column at her college.

I told her that I likely wouldn't sleep with a guy no matter what was offered. She also kept asking me how much money I made as an architect. I'd always answer, "Enough," but that didn't stop her from asking me over and over.

She also asked me, "Do you like surprises?"  I found out why she asked me that soon enough.

We had been in contact for about a week when, on a Friday morning, at around 8am, someone rang my doorbell. It was Amy.

"Hi, Dylan!" she said.

I asked her, "What are you doing here?"

She said, "Oh, don't be so worried! I didn't stalk you or anything. I just looked you up in the whitepages! Want to do breakfast?"

I said, "I don't mean to be rude, but I have to get ready for work. Why are you here?"

She said, "Can I see where you work?"

I wanted to be away from her as quickly as possible, so I left home without breakfast. Thank goodness I was already showered and dressed! I grabbed my work case, ushered her out of the house, then locked it behind me.

"Are we going to where you work?" she asked.

I didn't answer her, but I climbed into my car and drove away. I saw in my rearview that she got into her car, possibly to follow me.

I was away before she could catch up. She texted me, "What about our date?"

I texted back, "It was kind of creepy to find you at my house this morning. Please don't do that again."

She texted back, "Why not?"

I wrote back, "Because I don't want you to do it.  Thank you."


I ignored all of her other texts, and when I opened up my dating site e-mailbox, it was flooded with messages from her.


She sent torrents of texts (but oddly, never a phone call) until a few days later, when a chalk picture of two stick figures holding hands showed up on my front walk.  It was titled, "You and me," had a little heart, and was signed, "Amy."

It took a lot of effort to not call her up, but I didn't.  She was looking for a reaction, and I wasn't going to give it to her.  If I caught her on my property, I knew that I had options.

However, she disappeared after the chalk drawing.  Hopefully, she found a nice tree or trash can to be obsessed with, instead of me.


  1. I thought the surprise was going to be that she was a he.

  2. I think the only reason he didn't like her was that she is ugly... You would never read this story if she wasn't.

  3. Uh...there are plenty of pretty girls who are nuts and sane guys who find it a turn off. I've had hot guys who were completely nuts and didn't give them a chance because they were. And I have guys friends who've dated hot girls who turned out to be psycho.

  4. OP, YOU TEXTED WHILE DRIVING?!! *cue flashing lights*


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