Revenge Is Best Served Cold, Not at Absolute Zero.

Story Submitted by Nestor:

Alana and I were acquaintances growing up, as we had gone through elementary and middle school together. Her mother, Mrs. Boynton, was my seventh-grade teacher, as a matter of fact.

Alana and I grew further apart in high school, and when we went off to different colleges, I guessed that would be the last that I'd hear of her.

Not so. When I was home for winter break, my mother told me that she had bumped into Alana and Mrs. Boynton while at a bookstore, and that Alana had asked about me.

"She's very pretty," my mother told me, "You should call her up."

Why not? It would be nice to catch up, and if she was pretty, well, so much the better.

Alana and I went to a cafe by a park. She was pretty, and had grown at least a few inches since I had seen her last. Her blonde hair was long, and she had a set of blue eyes that I had never recalled really looking at, before.

We caught up about high school, college, etc. I asked her if she was seeing anybody.

She said, "No. Why?"

I imagined kissing her and replied, "Because I think you're cool."

I tapped her arm gently, and she asked, "Want to take a walk?"

We left the cafe, walked down a path, and held hands. I found a side trail and we took it. When we stopped to look at some gopher burrows, I pulled her in for a kiss.

She pushed away and asked, "Do you remember the nickname I had back in grade school?"

"No," I said, anxious to continue with the whole kissing thing.

"'Booger Queen.' Remember it now?"

I did, and couldn't for the life of me understand why she had chosen this, of all moments, to bring it up.

She said, "You gave it to me, remember? In first grade."

I said, "I didn't. I never would have—"

"And now you want to kiss me, oh how the tables have turned."

She wasn't going to bring up something I didn't even remember doing 12 years earlier, was she? She wasn't going to sabotage this whole nice day, was she? She wouldn't.

She would. "Fuck off," she said, then smiled and walked away, as fast as she could. I was so stunned that I didn't even follow her.

When I made it home, my mother told me that Mrs. Boynton, Alana's mother and my former teacher, had called for me and requested that I call her back.

When I did, Mrs. Boynton seemed very angry about something: "Nestor, I think you owe Alana an apology."

"About what?"

"She came home today in tears and said that you called her 'Booger Queen.'"

"I didn't. She lied."

"Alana doesn't lie. I know I'm not your teacher anymore, but if I were grading you at life, Nestor, then I'd give you a failing grade!"

I said, "With all respect, Mrs. Boynton, any failing grade you give should be reserved for Alana's honesty."

She said, "Okay. Goodbye, Nestor," and hung up.

Mrs. Boynton was a good teacher in the classroom. It's a shame that she didn't seem to teach her daughter how to be a dignified, functioning member of society.


  1. The OP isn't exactly wrong that his date was immature, but seriously, being called 'Booger Queen' throughout grade school is really, really painful. If the OP was indeed the one who gave her that nickname, then "Oh, ha ha, I don't remember anything about that - hey, you're smoking hot, want to make out?" is simply not going to cut it. The fact that YOU don't remember having hurt someone, even as a child, doesn't mean they don't remember it. And you know, they may not then want to make out with you.

  2. OP, there very well could have been a good chance that you did call her that name. You may not remember since the incident was so long ago and not of great importance to you to warrant remembering, but for a girl who had to go through school being constantly teased and hazed about it they remember the name and the perpetrator responsible for sticking them with that moniker clearly.

    Not saying you DID call her that name, but that it's not wholly uncommon to have a situation similar to yours where one party has totally forgotten and the other remembers it crystal clear.

  3. Your mom basically set-up this date for you, probably hoping you'd fall in love and move back home.

    It didn't work; you lost out and you were alone.

    You my friend, are an 'Empty Nestor'

    The way you talk though..gawd...it reeks of immaturity.

    "I imagined kissing her and replied, "Because I think you're cool."

    ....we stopped to look at some gopher burrows, I pulled her in for a kiss.


    "With all respect, Mrs. Boynton, any failing grade you give should be reserved for Alana's honesty."

    I puked in my mouth a bit reading this.

  4. I really hope you're all kidding. It was the first effing grade. This is what kids do. You get over it. If you don't, you have serious issues. As this woman clearly does.

    Anyway, who wants to be with a booger queen. Gross.

  5. Agreed. Leading someone on, even if he did do it, is immature and silly. A person at 18 is not a person at six. Period.

  6. Yes, she was immature and silly, but for him to escalate it to calling her a liar was a really bad call. He should have said he didn't remember and apologize anyway. Then most likely he wouldn't have crashed and burned so hard.

  7. Dude, she did lie... unless she meant that he called her "booger queen" twelve years earlier, in which case, why fucking cry over it?

  8. Yeah OP, serves you right for.. wait, what? First grade?

  9. I'm with the people who say the girl should have gotten the fuck over it. Bitching about some shit that happened in grade school, really? I bet she still cries at night about the time Lil' Timmy told her she had cooties in first grade. It's never cool to lead anyone on, no matter what.

    Also, he never said she was lying about him calling her Booger Queen in grade school. He said she was lying about him calling her that during the date. That's how I read it anyway.

  10. Making fun of kids in grade school is awesome. I do it all the time, sometimes from fraudulent facebook accounts where I try to get young girls to cut themselves.

    I think people should take absolutely no responsibility for being victims whatsoever. We should punish every name caller out there!

  11. If you hurt somebody, and you don't do anything to make it up to them, then it's their prerogative whether or not to forgive you. This guy received, what, one bad date in exchange for the years of humiliation this girl received? Sounds to me like he got off pretty easy.

  12. I agree with you on the forgiveness part Wolfy but that doesn't give you the right to actively go out to hurt someone or even see them at all, The girl just came off as immature and a bitch.

  13. Maybe she'd been watching friends


    5 mins onwards

  14. Always weirds me out when i read these with my name...but good story!


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