No Means Yes. Unless it Really Does Mean No.

Story Submitted by Sara:

Christmastime in college was great. Our school organized events, parties, and dances. We were small enough to make for easy logistics.

Oren was a guy who lived on my floor. Quiet, kept to himself, but always very friendly. When a twig of mistletoe appeared, hanging in our dorm's main hall, and I saw him standing near it, I approached him and kissed him on the cheek. Short, sweet, and innocent.

He started spending more time with me after that, seeking me out in my room, sitting with my friends and I at lunch. I didn't have an issue with it, but it was a bit creepy, the way he always had his eyes on me.

During finals, he asked me out for a date, and I told him that I thought of him just as a friend.

The next day, he asked me out again. I was a bit more explicit with him that time, as he had evidently not understood what I had said the day before.

He seemed to understand, then came back an hour later to ask me if I wanted to go out on a date but as friends. I told him that I'd do it if I could invite some of my own friends along. He didn't like that idea, and became more insistent.

I told him that I just wanted to be friends, left it at that, and didn't see him again until after the break.

When I returned to my room in January, I found, slipped under my door, a handmade poster. It bore a sparkled heart surrounding my name and Oren's. I threw it out in the common area trash.

The next day, it was back under my door. I notified my resident assistant, and Oren was told to keep away from me.

He wrote me an e-mail, listing reasons why he liked me and bemoaning the fact that I wouldn't give him a chance. The tone was a bit threatening, and I showed it to my RA. She said that she'd write Oren up about it, but something else happened that made the e-mail look benign.

That night, Oren sent me a YouTube video of himself sitting on his bed next to a mannequin bearing a shirt with my name on it. He touched it inappropriately, made out with it, and positioned himself on top of it on his bed.

This time around, I went above my RA and wrote to the college dean.  By afternoon the next day, Oren was relocated, the YouTube account to which the video had been posted was suspended, and he was instructed to stay away from me, under threat of harsher penalties.

He wrote to me once more, about a week later, to apologize for everything, and included a hope that we could stay friends.



  1. O. M. G.

    That was just CREEPY.

    LOVE IT.

  2. For once a girl who did all the right things to get this creep out of her life.


  3. ^ agreed. What I don't understand is how to people not understand when they are told more than once "no".

  4. While I agree that you did the right things to get rid of him, I don't understand why you would walk up and kiss a relative stranger because he happened to be standing near some leaves if you had no interest in him.

    Possibly it's a geographic thing. I'm in Australia and I don't know anyone who takes the mistletoe thing as anything other than an excuse to kiss someone they like. Maybe Oren is from Australia. Of course if you're from Australia as well OP then I'm out of ideas.

  5. Melissa - Mistletoe isn't taking seriously in the states either so i'm wondering the same thing as well. Typically people don't just walk up and kiss a random person because they're under the mistle toe. I'm sure if the guy was a 400 lb slob she wouldn't of done that so im wondering why she would do it to the guy in this story. Kind of a bit misleading in its own sense but whatever..He is creepy though..

  6. Once again, I'm compelled to comment years after the fact. What is wrong with you people? "A kiss on the check is misleading". I don't assume to know how a simple kiss on the cheek is reacted to in Australia, but in the states it's a very chaste thing, done occasionally between friends, family members, and yes love interests. By no means did one kiss on the cheek mean she had in any way given him the impression she was interested in more than that simple act. Geez.


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