Insanity Would Also Explain it. Just Sayin'.

E-mail Submitted by Mel:

I'm Ellen.  Your not going to believe this but I woke up this morning with u in mind.  I thought when I first woke up and you were.

I saw your profile once before and I liked your writing altho u sound boring. (no offense) But last night I dreamed that u saved my life from drowning in a high mansion attic and so I just had to write to tell u.

I reread your profie and u still sound boring altho I want to get to know u better and maybe help u.  Theres a reason for everything dont u think?  There must be a reason why I wrote u which is how I know your going to write me back.

I look forward to it.



  1. She could help you not be boring, and you can help her not to be illiterate.

  2. Talk about boring...trying to engage a guy by telling him about a lame ass dream! Ugh

    Take note people: ANYBODY that thinks somebody else wants to hear their dream or thinks their dream is as exciting/scary/funny as you thought it was when you were dreaming...is lying. Other people's dreams are boring....well, except for Martin Luther King.

  3. Howie that's not true my dreams are awesome "altho" they are usually sex dreams so when I tell my guy friends the ohs and ahs I'm getting are probably not what I think they are huh? LOL

  4. Hooray for more sketchy emails written by women! I was starting to believe that the inability to bring cohesive, meaningful and properly spelled thought to text was a flaw shared only among (and by the majority of) men.

  5. Dear Howie,

    Let's get together and talk about my dreams. Believe me, they're fucked up and more interesting than most.

  6. To quote George Carlin: "Nothing is so boring as listening to someone else describe a dream"

  7. Last night's dream: sitting at a dining room table looking through a clear glass wall at Mike O'Malley (of "Glee" fame) showering. Yes, there was full monty, and yes, he was showering with his Golden Globe. I congratulated him, then tweeted Chris Colfer (who plays his son) about what was going on.

    Have you ever seen Mike O'Malley? I've now seen him naked.

  8. ^ if you didn't congratulate him while on your knees...it's....kinda...boring....sorry Nikki

  9. Marilyn Manson stabbed me up the vag in a super market lunch meat section with a very large butcher knife a few years ago.


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