Better Dead than Redhead

E-mail Submitted by Clyde:

I took a shower earlier today and the water stopped going down my drainpipe!  I used a plunger and a coat hanger and I drew out a thick clump of red hair.  I'm a brunette.  Someone with red hair has been using my shower, but no redheads have ever been over at my house, much less used my shower as far as I remember.

I went over my memories and realized that I don't have any redhead friends.  I had to expand my search to acquaintances and then, ever further still.  You were the first redhead profile I found after a long search.

Was it you?  Stop coming over to my house and using my shower, you fuck.



  1. I would date this woman. That's a hilarious email.

    If she's joking.

  2. I was sort of hoping her name would be Bonnie.

  3. Someone ate a lot of paint chips as a child.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Hi Sara, remember me?

    We had a one night stand a while back and I showered before we did the nasty? You thought I was a blond man...truth is, I dyed my hair and I'm actually a red head and my pubes would prove it. When I knew we were going to get intimate, I was worried you would find out my 'true colors'...so I trimmed them in your shower. Sorry for the confusion, and I never called back knowing I deceived you. Hope you can find it in your hear to forgive me.


    P.S. I'd throw out the scissors in your bottom right drawer.

  6. ^I hope your real name is actually Archie, because that'd be adorable.

    I sent this to all of my ginger friends. (I have a surprisingly large collection of them in my friends circle.) They might not get the humor though, since gingers have no souls.

  7. Or hey perhaps someone that lived in the house before and showered in that exact shower was a red head. I swear some people need to learn to not be so retarded.

    -A Day Walker

  8. Jacqui: There wasn't any indication that she had just moved into the house. And even if she had, chances are good that unless the landlord is actually a slum lord, they would have checked the plumbing and the pipes for clogs.

  9. If she had used bleach in her shower that would explain it.


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