A Wine Stain Might Have Improved the Decor

Story Submitted by Reggie:

Rosa, who was a high school math teacher, and I were out on our first date, and she invited me back to her parents' place (where she lived) for a bit.

Her parents didn't seem to be around when we made it there and we sat down in the living room. All of the furniture had green and orange swirling floral patterns and was covered in thick, transparent plastic.

She gave me a glass of wine, sat down on another couch, about as far away from me as she could, and we talked for a while.

While talking about something or other, I accidentally spilled my wine on the edge of the couch. It was covered in plastic, as I said. But it flowed from the plastic edge onto the white carpeting.

Rosa screamed, "You idiot!" and stood up, doing nothing else.

"I'll get some water and a towel. It'll be fine," I said.

She said, "You idiot!" again and I ran for the kitchen, grabbed some paper towels, water, a scrub brush, some detergent from under the sink, and then returned to the scene of the accident.

"You idiot, you stupid idiot," she repeated over and over as I walked back in and cleaned it up.

She didn't offer to help, of course, but watched me scrub the carpet clean, which I did in a matter of minutes.

Once I was done, she tapped the clean area with her fingers.

She said, "It's still wet. Dry it more."

I tamped on it with the paper towel and invited her to test it again. She said, "It's still wet."

I explained that it would evaporate and that no one would ever know.

"I'll know," she said.

I asked her, "Is it really going to bother you that much?"

She didn't say anything for a few seconds, then stepped away and said, "You're such an idiot."

I put the detergent back in the kitchen, threw away the used paper towels, and took off.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Balloon knot? Howie, you always cause me to have to break out the old Urban Dictionary.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. ^ Sorry Cheri D. (Hey, I think I've met your sister before ....Sunny...is it? I remember her being very refreshing!)
    Anyway, whatever you do, do NOT google 'Blue Waffle . net'. You've been warned!

  5. I need someone to tell me what Blue Waffle is all about. I fell for the old "hey, what's the big deal about Tub Girl" thing, and I REFUSE to be a victim to the probable mind-scorching I'll receive if I check out the aforementioned unmentionable.

    Can someone give me a run down?

  6. Well...it's NOT from leaving an Eggo out too long...that's for sure.


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