E-mail Submitted by Amy:
I'm a professional baker who leads hordes into raids each and every night. No not Warcraft. The bakery that I work in is one of the cleanest in the area, but do you know why? No one knows why.
It's because each and every night, I spray two cans of raid over the counters, under the counters, inside the counters (not with any fod in them) and around the counters. Two cans. Never a single bug in two years.
Do you know what raid tastes like to a bug? DEEEAAAAATH!
I make cookies, cakes, pies and foamies. I'm terrifyed of bugs, and women are also terrifyed of them, so I offer you this offer:
A date in the cleanest bakery you've ever eaten in. I can take you there after closing and make you anything you want. I promise it'll be all done with raiding the place before you come there, and everything will be great.
Women have always asked, but wpn't your food taste like raid? To them I say this: I say no. It won't taste like raid. Never has, never a complaint.
Let me know if you want to come eat in the bakery.
Hugh
What's on my menu?
ReplyDeleteChlorethane cookies
Cresoils crescent rolls
Dibutylphthalate Date squares
Pyrethroid pastries
Allethrin angel food cake
Cyfluthrin cookies to name a few...
All of them are to DIE for!
The idea of TWO cans of insecticide sprayed in an enclosed space made my throat close up.
ReplyDeleteThat sickly sweetness... ugh. And that's just the cake.
Which would be worse, abcotd fans: two cans of Raid in an enclosed space like that, or jerking off into every pastry that comes out of the bakery?
ReplyDeleteI guess there have been no complaints because everyone is dead?
ReplyDelete