To Mismatch a Predator

Story Submitted by Pedro:

Lorraine was an elementary school teacher I met online. She asked me to meet her at a Starbucks not too far from where she worked.

Right after meeting, she said, "I'd have asked you to pick me up at school, but you might be a child predator."

I was sure she was kidding and I laughed.

She wasn't kidding at all and went on, "A teacher friend of mine dated a guy around here last year. He was just dating her to get closer to the kids she taught. He was arrested."

I assured her that I wasn't a predator.

"We'll see," she said. Off to a great start already.

I steered the conversation away from predation and somehow or other we ended up at dinner nearby.

She didn't seem interested in talking about anything that wasn't herself, and we were on the subject of her life as a teacher when she brought up those predators again. She told me all about the extra classes and assemblies that she had to attend and organize about the topic.

She asked me if I had worked with kids before. When I was younger, I worked in a children's toy and bookstore.

"A lot of predators take jobs around kids in order to be close to them," she informed me.

"I wouldn't know," I replied.

"Are you a predator?" she asked.

I said, "No. Please tell me you're kidding around."

She shook her head and said, "Sorry," and that was pretty much the end of our dinner conversation.

Right after dinner, I suggested that we go our separate ways. I climbed into my car (she had walked from where she had parked at her school) and watched me drive away.

I hadn't planned on contacting her again — I might have been a predator, after all — but she contacted me.

She wrote a message that basically boiled down to, "I saw you drive off in the direction of the school the other night. I thought you lived on the other side of town. I don't think we should see each other again."

Thank goodness. All of her students can sleep soundly, knowing that someone like her is watching out for them.


  1. After she asked, "Are you a predator?" You should've said, "Yes." Then done your best T-Rex impersonation and tackled her. She'd have loved it.

  2. You know, the paralyzed look of fear in her eyes had he said "Yes" would have been worth the mace and police escort.


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