Sometimes Even a Little Umbrella Isn't Worth it

Story Submitted by Jean:

Liam was on online find.  It had been a while since an interesting guy had e-mailed me, and he actually had a lot to say.

He took me to a bar for our date, and seemed more interested in spending time with his beer than with me.  I tried making conversation several times, but he'd respond to my attempts with either a grunt or a leer.

After he had drank a couple, he asked, "Has anyone ever told you that they want to lick you all over?"

"No one who I'd ever let lick me," I replied.

We fell into silence for a while after that, and he said, "What about you and me going to another bar?  I have some great friends there."

At this second bar, he did indeed have a lot of friends, most of whom were other women.  There were two stripper poles in the back of the room, unused at the moment.

"Hey baby, how's it going?" he greeted one right after the other.  They all seemed to know him by name.

He led me to a round corner booth with enough space for half a dozen people.

"Have a seat," he said, "I'll be back in a sec."

He was gone for less than five minutes before returning with two women, one under each arm.

"Move over," he said to me, when there was already plenty of room for him to slide in at the other side of the booth.

He ignored me (aside from being magnanimous enough to introduce me to his two new companions) for a little while. I stood up to leave.

He asked, "Where are you going? Have a drink."

I walked out as fast as my feet would carry me.  He didn't follow, my guess being that he was encumbered by all of the women who surrounded him.

A minute or so after I had left, he texted "WHAT THE FUCK???  I JUST PAID FOR YOUR DRINK" as if I'd say, "Oh, sorry!  I'll come back and tolerate the disrespect and blatant womanizing for some alcohol with a little umbrella in it!  My bad!"

I was most of the way home when he called.

"Where the hell did you go?  We're on a date." he asked.

I said, "It stopped being a date when you invited a crowd to join us."

"They were just friends.  I'm booking out a hotel room for all of us for tonight."

I said, "I'm not stopping you."

He replied with some colorful phrases, and I hung up.

A few minutes later, he texted with the address of a nearby motel and the words, "Come if you know what's good for you."

I know what's good for me, so I didn't go.


  1. Fine, I'll be the first to ask...
    Why did you stick around after the "lick you all over" comment?

  2. Another case of a shell-shocked woman hoping things will get better after some douchebag says something incredibly inappropriate to her. I'm with Kwame though...there are just some situations in which it's necessary to cut your losses and run.

    MY biggest question is why did she go into a strip club with him and then stick around long enough for him to bring strippers over to the table?!

  3. Good call Nikki! That's exactly what I was thinking. Apparently she's never been to such an establishment.


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