"Sleeping" Beauty

Story Submitted by Nathan:

Amelia seemed sane when we were talking online.  We made a lunch date for a Saturday.

After the conversation in which we made plans, she nearly stopped being in touch with me.  Whereas before, we'd speak at least four or five times a week, we spoke only once in the week leading up to the date, and that was on the Tuesday.  I tried calling her a couple more times during the week, but she never responded to my messages.

By the time Saturday rolled around, I wondered if she'd even be at the meeting spot (a park fountain), but sure enough, there she was, sitting on a bench.

She said, "Come here.  Sit by me."

I did.  She slid close to me, took my hand, kissed it, and held it on her thigh.

I asked, "Everything all right?"

She gave a slight nod, smiled, and just kind of stared ahead.

"Ready for lunch?" I asked.

She said, "Let's just sit here," and continued holding my hand, without saying anything.

I tried starting a conversation.  "How was your week?"

"Shitty," she said, and kissed the back of my hand again.  It was weird.

I suggested, "Maybe I can help you forget about it."

She closed her eyes and leaned back in the bench, our hands still together.  I waited a few minutes before trying to speak to her again.  In that time, however, she started snoring.  Or pretend snoring. 

I pried my hand from hers and said, "We can just cancel if you're having second thoughts about the date."

She continued to snore.  I wondered, "Could she be narcoleptic?"  I shook her slightly, not knowing what to do, as I hadn't encountered a narcoleptic person before.

She snored louder.  I figured that she was just putting me on, and then she tipped over, onto the bench, hitting her head on the metal armrest.

She opened her eyes and said, "Ow," then looked up at me, closed her eyes, and went back to snoring.

I left.


  1. OP must be a really boring date for her to fall asleep that quickly. Not to mention being an uncaring douche since you never let someone with a concussion fall asleep.

  2. Do people with concussions snore?

  3. Narcoleptic? No.
    Concussion? Doubt it.
    Certifiably insane? Yes.

  4. Well this is truly bizarre. I'm hoping she was drunk or on drugs. This can't be one of those uncomfortable brush offs, can it?

  5. When dating the daughter of Rip Van Winkle, some concessions must be made.....

  6. Another creative way of backing out of a date you never wanted in the first place.

    Because saying, "I've changed my mind, and I don't think it would work out" PRIOR to the date you're dreading is soooooo juvenile.


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