Mighty Thor Needs No Ring

Story Submitted by Don:

Martha messaged me when I was preparing to delete my dating profile.  I had received no promising leads, and thought the whole thing a waste of time and money.

Her message was thoughtful and smart, and I thought, foolishly, "It was worth wading through the bozos for someone like this."

Martha worked in early childhood education and made her own jewelry on the side.  She sent me a link to her work.  I was impressed with her designs and effort, and told her so.

She wrote back, "If you like it that much, then please help to support me!"

I was pretty sure that she was kidding, but on our dinner date, she brought six portable cases along to show off her work in person.

"Your mother might like a piece like this," she said, holding up a necklace with a particularly weighty pendant, "Or this," and she handed me a ring with a strange aroma that looked like shellacked tin foil.

"It's shellacked tin foil," she explained, showing me several other examples, "But the shapes are abstractions based on different deities.  You're holding the Thor ring."

"It's great," I said, not meaning it.

"Only $19," she said, hopefully.

I suggested that she put her work away for the time being so that we could concentrate on dinner.  She agreed with the idea.

I paid for dinner.  She didn't offer to contribute or even thank me.  Instead, she whipped out her cases again.  "Always a businesswoman," she said, and grinned.

I told her that I didn't want to look at any more jewelry.  She protested that she had only shown me four out of six cases.  I assured her that I wasn't likely to buy any jewelry that night, but that I'd keep her in mind for holiday gifts.

The next morning, I woke up to an e-mail from her, claiming that I had misled her into believing that I would buy loads of her work, and that I was manipulative and cheap.  She even had the gall to ask if I had asked to see her work in order to steal her designs.

Because tin foil rings are all the rage.


  1. Hey lady, your desperation is showing, you might want to cover it up.

  2. It's called an "Etsy account," you stupid bitch. If the rest of us artists can take the time to make one and advertise our wares by going to craft shows and being humiliated by people who want to barter over the price of something that took us an insane amount of time to make, then SO CAN YOU. Stop trolling dating sites for potential customers.

  3. I would have bought one ONLY if she promised to let me give her a 'pearl necklace' in return.

  4. ...furthermore, if you thtuck that foil ring in your assth, you'd also have a thor ring..
    Merry Xmas to all! Howie out!

  5. @Nikki

    What kind of art do you create? I'd definitely check out your etsy account if I knew where to look.


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