Meet the Brother

Story Submitted by Antonio:

Barbara came up as a potential match on a dating site and I e-mailed her.

She wrote me back to tell me that she never did anything like In Internet dating before and that she was really nervous about it.  I assured her that I didn't carry any expectations and that we could go at her own pace.

In her next message, she asked, "What do we do now?  Meet in person?"

I told her that I'd be glad to, but only if she was ready for it, and I suggested meeting in a public place.

She wrote back, "NOT in a public place, please.  My home with my family would be best."

I wrote back to let her know that I wasn't altogether comfortable with going to her house to meet her family on a first date, even if that would help her feel better about it.  And besides, I was having serious second thoughts about her by this time.

No response for a day or two, and then a message from her.  It essentially was a 180-degree turnaround from how she had been acting before.  "I'm sorry.  I'd love to meet you.  Sorry I was so nervous," etc.  At the end, she suggested a great cafe at which to meet in person, and we made solid plans.

When I arrived, a tall man who looked to be in his forties approached me.

"Antonio?" he asked, "I'm Jeff, Barbara's older brother.  Can we sit down for a minute?"

I was already there, and was definitely in the mood for some cafe goodies.  Of course, this situation was becoming crazy, although I didn't see any harm in seeing what Jeff had to say.

Jeff said, "Barbara's had a tough time dating these past few years due to her anxiety.  I can't tell you how glad we all are that you're willing to help her and give her a chance."

I said, "I never said that I'd do that.  I wrote to tell her that I didn't want to meet up with her family on a first date, and then she wrote back to tell me that she'd meet with me here."

"Yes," Jeff said, "I wrote that response.  I thought it would be best, given Barbara's condition.  Are you still willing to give her a chance?  I think she'd like to meet you and try things out."

I said, "I don't think so.  It's something in which I don't want to be involved in."

Jeff grew agitated at that.  "She's not a 'thing,' she's a person, and she's my sister."

I said, "Whatever noun she is, I don't want to date her.  Period.  I'm done talking with you," and I walked away.

"Asshole," Jeff called after me.  I hope that no one else was taken in by this weird family.


  1. Her family's only enabling her. Get some good meds, get a great therapist, move out of your family's house and learn to live and socialize on your own. I know that anxiety can be a crippling illness, and I'm not trying to minimize her pain, but she shouldn't be having her 40-something year old brother screening dates for her and thanking the guys in advance for giving his batshit sister "a chance."

  2. I think Jeff was right when he called the OP an 'Asshole'.

  3. OP isn't an asshole. Why get yourself involved with someone with a mental illness for no reason? He has nothing invested in this relationship (it's not even a relationship, really) and obviously the girl has serious issues if her brother has to screen dates for her.


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