Story and E-mails Submitted by Allie:
I received an e-mail from Paul. His profile stated that he was deeply religious and wanted to wait for sex until marriage. Dude was 29. Clearly not the guy for me. I didn't respond and he sent me another email saying how much we had in common and how he was waiting for my reply so I wrote back:
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Paul,
Thanks for your email but it seems to me that we have some different perspectives on the big issues and I think it would be better not to pursue anything. Best of luck.
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He replied:
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You may mistake my religious beliefs for naivete but I did check your match questions and knew you weren't a virgin before I messaged you. I am willing to overlook this in your case even though I believe it is in poor taste for a lady to admit to her sexual escapades in a public forum.
I think you'll find that taking an oath to renew your spiritual virginity will improve your dating life all around as most men are not interested in "experienced" women. When we go out I can explain it in more detail and I'm sure I can convince you.
It's sad that an intelligent young women like yourself feels that she needs to give up her body to get attention from men. I am not like the other guys you have dated. I will do my best to make you feel whole again. You have nothing to be ashamed of. There is still time to correct your past sins.
Please consider my offer. I know pre-marital sex is usually a cry for help and so I'm extending my hand to you. We aren't so different as you seem to think and I believe we could have a beautiful relationship.
Paul
Another instance of the "I'm not like other guys" plea. Only this time, he's right because most other guys aren't evangelicals trolling for converts on a dating site.
ReplyDeleteAllie, how did you get rid of him the second time? Or did you just not respond?
I have a hard time with guys that think that women have sex only to impress or please men. Are there really men out there that think that women don't actually enjoy sex? Very, VERY sad.
ReplyDelete^ Yes Anne, guys that have never learned to please a woman.
ReplyDeleteI like my women experienced...that's why I have a profile on Dating-grandmothers.com.
ReplyDeleteMmmm...them 'whitecaps' know how to please a man! I mean, most of em have 60+ years of experience at it. Sure, some of em need a pressure washer to get em moist...but they are really low maintenance...Ya buy them some Polident as a gift and they are happy to be taking in another Xmas..and well, and another breath.
How NICE of him to overlook the fact that you're damaged goods. Wow, how could you resist a man willing to redeem you, you brazen hussy? Gee, you could have a beautiful relationship with him reminding you daily of the awful awful slut you once were, before the healing power that was him. What a freaking judgmental tool.
ReplyDeleteI feel sad that Paul will never experience the sheer joy giving himself up to a beautiful stranger he met at a nightclub last weekend, for about four hours, then semi-anonymously yet publicly declare it was the best sex he ever had. Ever. So sad.
ReplyDeleteI had a conservative evangelical guy email me out of the blue telling me that I "just hadn't asked the right questions yet" in response to my response to the religion bit in the profile (mine said agnostic).
ReplyDeleteI pretty much told him sanctimonious condescending attitudes were a huge part of the reason why I gave up on church and religion in the first place, and he needed to pull his head and torso out of his butt before he tried to converse with people of other religious or non-religious leanings. Cause dude, how the hell do you even know what questions I've asked and what answers I came up with without ever making any contact whatsoever with me?
I know that not all Christians are so arrogant and dimwitted that they make such ASSumptions, but geeze.
(also, first comment! woo. out of lurkage.)
Allie, I'm sorry that you had this experience.
ReplyDeleteAs a Christian, it bugs me sometimes that people who choose to be the most vocal are often the ones who have no interpersonal common sense.
I don't know this guy, but it's clear that he overstepped boundaries, which is what he accused you of doing.
The issue here isn't sex. It's his unfortunately clumsy attempt to show love.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of. There is still time to correct your past sins."
ReplyDeleteThat's an incredible amount of cognitive dissonance in two consecutive sentences.