Story Submitted by Charles:
Cynthia and I had been out on one date already, and I was having serious second thoughts about her. She seemed very interested in my past relationships, and asked me several personal questions. I don't mind personal questions, but something about the ones she asked made me wonder if it was more than mere curiosity:
"How many times did you have sex with your last girlfriend?" was one such question. A little forward for a first date.
The morning after the date, I received an e-mail from her. It had one line:
"What the fuck?"
Attached were about two dozen screen captures of blog posts I had written from a forgotten blog that I hadn't updated in about three years. In them, I had written information about my job, my life, and my (at the time) girlfriend.
I started a new e-mail to Cynthia, one in which I planned to explain, line by line, what I had written back then.
Then, I stopped myself. What business was it of hers? Who the hell was she? I wrote back the single line:
"What about it?"
She called me up, the first words out of her mouth were, "We have a lot to talk about, so I hope you have your day free."
I replied, "I'm not going to be talking about this all day with you. Those are entries from years ago, and I shouldn't have to explain myself."
She said, "You wrote that you loved her! What am I supposed to think?"
"That I loved her. 'Loved' is a past-tense word."
"But if she came back into your life, you'd sleep with her."
I didn't say anything. She continued, "And your lack of response proves it."
I ended the conversation: "My lack of response proves that, at my age, I'm still capable of being shocked into silence by a delusional bitch."
I hung up on her. She called and called and called and called, but I never picked up, responded to her e-mails, or texted her ever again.
After eight months, she figured it out, and I don't hear from her anymore.
12/22/2010
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I ended the conversation: "My lack of response proves that, at my age, I'm still capable of being shocked into silence by a delusional bitch."
ReplyDeleteMy new favorite line ever written on this website. Good show, old chap.
How dare you have a life prior to meeting her! Especially a love life...
ReplyDelete