How We Say Goodbye in German, Dr. Jones

Story Submitted by Christopher:

Jen was a friend who I knew was crushing on me for a while.  I wasn't into her, and despite telling her once that I wanted to stay friends, she didn't stop flirting through the years, so I made it policy to ignore her advances.

It so happened that I was exclusively dating another girl, Sara, when Jen called me to ask if I wanted to hang out.  Jen and I, as I said, were friends, and there was no harm in hanging out over lunch.

During the meal, I let slip that I was seeing Sara.  Jen rolled her eyes and made a face that clearly betrayed frustration, but she didn't say anything.  She invited me to her place after lunch, and I trusted myself enough to ensure that nothing would happen.

We sat down to watch a movie on a couch at her place when she sidled up close to me.  I headed her off at the pass with, "Jen, I don't think that's a good idea."

She leaned in and said, "Shh.  Close your eyes."

I had a feeling that she was going to kiss me, and I moved away from her on the couch.

She read my thoughts and said, "I promise I won't try anything.  Just close your eyes."

I sighed and closed them.  She rubbed her hand on my groin and I opened my eyes.  She was inches away from kissing me.

I jumped away and said, "Jen, I can't do this."

Faster than blinking, she lunged for me and slapped me in the face.  We stared at each other for a few seconds, and then she went right back to the movie, as if nothing had happened at all.

I left, and I haven't ever contacted her again.


  1. Love the title, Jared.

    Yet another woman who hits when she doesn't get her way. Why is it that women are allowed to hit a man and get away with it, but a man can't hit back without being labeled as an violent, abusive bastard.

  2. Thanks. I like it when people catch the references.

  3. I feel like this guy was looking for trouble, otherwise why would you go to her place, etc etc, when you know she wants to make a move....kind of selfish, really.

  4. ^ Because they were friends? What, is he supposed to never hang out at her house again simply because she likes him?

  5. The only reason she was hanging around with him is because she was attracted to him. He wanted to be friends, she wanted to be lovers. Her persistent flirting should be proof of that.

    It was selfish of him to continue seeing her and to go up to her place. His actions were just leading her on.

  6. Yeah, 'cause refusing advances and saying "I just wanna stay friends" constitutes leading someone on.

  7. Sounds like DRD has had their advances refused a few times.

  8. Aww, you guys assuming so much. Actually, it is the opposite theMediator. I've been in this guys situation before, and I handled it like him (fortunately I didn't drag it out as long before I realized how destructive I was being).

    I stand by my original post. Staying friends with the girl given her obvious intentions was a bad idea.


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