Story Submitted by Lisa:
My profile was on a Black dating site when Eddie messaged me. He came across as just the right mix of confident and modest. The fact that he was tall and handsome didn't hurt, either.
He said that he had gone to Howard University in DC, studied economics, went to England on a fellowship, and was an active campus liaison for the National Black Student Union. Everything sounded good about this guy.
I offered to meet him in person, but he canceled our first date without much notice, saying that "something came up at the office" and that he couldn't meet up for another two weeks.
"But that's okay," he wrote, "Since that'll give us more time to get to know each other for who we are."
When we finally did meet in person, it was a bit of a shock.
Eddie was White. And short. And therefore a damned liar.
The date itself, if it can even be called that, was a blur, since it lasted less than a minute.
It consisted of him walking up to me in front of a restaurant and saying, "Lisa?"
I asked, "Do I know you?"
He said, "It's me, Eddie."
He paused for my reaction, which, from what I can remember, was some sort of look.
He went on, "I like nice Black girls and no one ever wrote back to me. But now that we've gotten to know each other, I thought–"
I said, "You're a liar. Get lost," and stormed away.
When I made it home, I found an e-mail from him. I deleted it without reading it.
Wow, This is the most racist thing I've read in a really long time. If it had been the opposite, and the shock has been to find out that someone is (GASP!) *black*, everybody would be shocked at how shallow and racist the OP sounds.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge a book by its cover, OP. Especially if it's just the color of the cover.
Yes athphy, if a black person had messaged and said they were part of some all-white organization... like the Republican Party! I'm sure that date would have gone equally well. It's about the lying, not the race, dumbass.
ReplyDeleteHe misled her. He lied. End of date. Good on you, OP.
ReplyDeleteI lost count of how many times I read on this website that people went on dates with somebody who lied to them. Weight, height, age, people lie all the time, it's in the majority of date stories. Yet 9/10 times, the poster goes through with the date because they saw something in the person that made them go on the date besides looks, which it sounds like was the case here. So why is race an immediate deal breaker?
ReplyDeleteI stand by my original assessment, the OP is really just shallow and racist.
If someone wants to continue a date with a liar, that doesn't make it right for everybody. Even if those who do appear to be in the majority. I think it also depends upon the nature of the lie. Someone lying about their job is not as big a deal as someone who lies about their race, college, and other related affiliations. Misrepresentation is misrepresentation, to be sure. However, there are different levels of how serious it can be.
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ReplyDeleteI can understand her anger at the fact that he misrepresented himself, but using a title like "Dream on, White Boy" for her submission is what makes her a racist cunt. If it were flipped & the title was "Dream on, Black Guy!" I doubt it would have even made it on this site. The very notion of a race-specific dating site is pretty damn offensive to begin with. Nobody would dare start a white-only dating site(cause that would be racist!), so why is an all-black dating site so acceptable? Oh, and I love how she capitalizes black but not white. Typical angry, racist bitch. OP, you're still an asshole even if Eddie did lie.
ReplyDelete^ uh...JMG actually makes up the titles (and often, they are the best part of a story!).
ReplyDeleteI think the OP was correct. He misrepresented himself. What if 'he' was actually a 'she'? Is that okay or is that being shallow too? I think we all know the answer to that one.
I don't think I'd like you much, but I can't blame you for ending a date with someone who lied about everything, specifically because he thought you wouldn't be interested in him if he told the truth.
ReplyDelete@kabuk1:
ReplyDeleteI made up the title, and I was quoting an INXS song (Original Sin). Blame them.
Also, the capitalization thing is my bad. Just fixed it.
ReplyDeleteSEE MORE AT:
http://www.diversityinc.com/article/3989/Why-the-B-in-Black-Is-Capitalized-at-DiversityInc/
AND
http://raceproject.org/2009/03/to-b-or-not-to-b.html
Whether or not she is racist is irrelevant. When you create a profile at a niche dating site there are certain expectations(Wasn't JDate the main contributor to JMG's misadventures that led most of us here). Expecting to meet with a black guy from a black dating site is reasonable.
ReplyDeleteGood call. On JDate, there are some non-Jewish people on there seeking Jewish mates, but they're upfront about it in their profiles.
ReplyDeletePeople lie about their weight on dating sites because they think they can lose a few pounds before the date...it's a stretch, but it could happen.
ReplyDeletePeople lie about their height but figure they can wear shoes that will make them appear taller...a bigger stretch and probably a white lie (no pun intended).
But lying about one's race? That is such a huge lie that one would have to wonder what else this man was lying about. Going through with this date would have been absurd. And we commenters would have been wondering why the poster didn't do exactly what she actually did.
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ReplyDeleteWhat's with all the hate towards the OP? She didn't get angry that he was white; she was angry that he LIED! He wasn't supposed to even be on that site since it was a BLACK DATING SITE, and nobody would be looking for a white man! She isn't attracted to white men. It's the same as not being attracted to fat people or older people. It's a preference.
ReplyDelete@athpty: Because those girls were idiots who just wanted to be polite when they should have left immediately.
@kabuk: Seriously?
I automatically disqualify any date who lies to me. Internet dating is sketchy enough already and if you are dishonest from the get-go, I'm not going to trust you. I don't care what you've lied about- it's still lying.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Baku-chan. The only reason people are getting up in arms about this is because it deals with race which is still a sensitive subject at present time. If he had lied and was 75 pounds heavier, chances are no one would be jumping on this nearly as much. I see that no one seems to remember the lie about his height as well.
I gotta say though, lying about one's physical appearance specifically makes me think a person has serious self-esteem issues. And it's pretty stupid. Why waste your time and theirs if you know that you don't fit what they're looking for? And I know someone might say "well people have fallen for people they didn't expect to"- from what I've observed that's usually after knowing someone for a long time.
I'd like to point out that "Eddie" in this story was specifically using race as his criterion for dating - he was on a site specifically to find Black girls to date.
ReplyDeleteThe OP obviously was upset about him lying, not about his race. But even if that weren't the case, then why are people harping on her and not the guy that was clearly and unambiguously using race as his number-one criterion to find a girl? KF
Ah, Howie. Someday, somewhere, there's a beer with your name on it, courtesy ABCotD.
ReplyDeleteMan, we haven't had a good old-fashioned race-off, cunt-battle in quite some time. If only the anonymous trolls were still allowed; think of all the brilliant flaming insights we'd have then! *dreamy sigh* Ah, well. The times, as they say, they are a-changing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Jared, can Howie live with us in the ABCotD mansion? I think he'd enjoy spending time in the Grotto of Anonymous Sex and Named Infections.
Sounds to me like he didn't just lie about his race, but about almost everything. His race & height for sure; almost certainly his title as "campus liaison for the National Black Student Union" & possibly even his attendance at a predominantly African-American university. I don't blame OP in the least for telling him to get lost. Who wants to begin a relationship based on NOTHING but LIES?
ReplyDeleteAlso, given that the OP said he was "tall and handsome" in his profile, that means that he wasn't just "misrepresenting" himself by omission, he was using someone else's picture, just like that guy a while back who posted pictures as a girl on his profile. I'm on the OP's side on her not doing the date and walking away.
ReplyDelete@Nikki:
ReplyDeleteFalse. Howie's place is among the nymphs in the Garden of Sadism or else within a discarded shelving unit in the Dungeon of the Furry Necromancer.
^^As long as we don't banish him to the Hall of Bleeding Vaginas. I hear that it changes you forever.
ReplyDeleteThere are interracial dating sites that the dude could have gone to, specializing in interracial dating. I personally date all the races and I adore shorter guys, so an honest version of OPs date would have been a good date for me. sigh.
ReplyDelete