Alcohol Was Involved? Oh Yeah. I Remember Now.

E-mail Submitted by Micha:

Hey how's it going?

You met me at a Halloween party about eight years ago.  Ronnie Halstead's place.  Remember?

Let me jog your memory: there was alcohol involved.

Remember yet?  No?

You seduced me and convinced me to cheat on my boyfriend, who I loved very much.  He broke up with me and I looked him up last year and found that he's married, has two kids, and lives a glorious life in the suburbs.

What I'm trying to say is that THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME.  YOU RUINED MY LIFE.

And now that I've tried to forget all about it, you come across as a suggested match?  FATE IS FUCKING CRUEL.

You won't hear from me again.  I just want you to live with knowing that you FUCKED SOMEONE OVER FOREVER!!!


Micha says: "The funny thing is that I actually remember this girl.  She never mentioned a thing about having a boyfriend, and if she had, tempting her to cheat doesn't sound like something I would've done.  Sorry for fucking you over.  I'm going to go about my business, now."


  1. Married? Two kids? Glorious life in the suburbs?

    Why is she not thanking you?

  2. Eight years ago and she's still trying to blame someone else for her own mistake. Cheaters.

  3. Sometimes the universe just likes to throw in a succinct "Fuck You" every now and then.

  4. I agree with Error. And also, after 8 years you think they'd let it go instead of being obsessed and looking up an ex.

  5. Kitabare, you've never randomly Googled/Facebook stalked an ex, no matter how long ago you dated? I always like to see if my exes got fat, came out, or died. The best was my first love who is not only a bonafide Communist, not only got kinda chunky, not only is unemployed, but also APOLOGIZED to me for fucking me over ten years ago. WIN. (PS: He FB stalked me, not the other way around.) Give it a try.


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