Why She's "Always a Bridesmaid"

Story Submitted by Jason:

Audrey was in the bridal party of a friend's wedding. The reception was held at a hotel in the middle of the city. She was a knockout who completely stood out from all of the other bridesmaids. I made a couple of quick inquiries, found out that she was between boyfriends, and made my move.

We danced together for a while, and I asked her if she wanted to take a walk around the place.

She said that she should probably stick around the reception, as she was a bridesmaid (understandable), but she asked if I'd be up for visiting the hotel's posh restaurant with her the following week. As far as she was concerned, I was up for anything.

The next week, we met at the hotel on a Friday. I learned that evening that just because someone is a good dancer, it doesn't mean that she's a good at conversation. The whole time, she seemed more interested in everything in the restaurant except for me. Maybe I was too uninteresting for her, but when she asked me four times over the course of the meal, "Where do you think they got this decor?" it made me second guess any ideas I had for a second date.

After dinner, we took a walk around the hotel. It was a huge place and very beautiful. Somehow or other, we found our way to the Olympic swimming pool. It was darkened and deserted, and we strolled around it in silence, mostly because I had run out of things to talk about with someone whose answer to the question, "What do you do?" was "Wow."

We walked down a long end of the pool when something unexpected and unwelcome happened.

She shoved me in.

It seemed to happen in slow motion, and I clearly remember my first thought: "There's no way that she just pushed me in," but there was no arguing with fact. She had. 100%.

I gasped and pulled myself out as quickly as possible. Sopping wet, I screamed at her, "What the fuck?" It might have been a little harsh, but after and evening of no conversation, no thank you for paying for dinner, and no reason for shoving me into a pool, I had had enough.

She seemed completely disinterested, as if nothing had happened at all. "You jumped," she said.

I swear on the lives of every one of you readers out there that she shoved me in. Why would I jump into a pool for no reason? More importantly, why would she push me, also for no reason?

"Dry yourself off," were the last words she ever said to me, because after that, I stormed away, never to speak to her again.


  1. Thanks for swearing on the lives of the readers. I believe you completely.

  2. Because our lives are worth so much.

    On the one hand, congrats for not sinking to her level. On the other hand, it would have been righteous to shove her stupid ass into the pool then tell her "You jumped" and walked off, cold as ice.

    Man, I like living vicariously through the choices other people don't make.

  3. She must have had a plan.

    6pm. Meet up with a silly guy who apparently likes me so I can get a free dinner.

    6pm - 7pm Eat my free dinner and bore the shit out of the guy - see how long can he last.

    7.05 Walk around the hotel with the guy if he will last so long. When passing the swimming pool shove him inside and pretend it wasn't me.

    7.07 Watch the guy walk away - wet and miserable. Mission accomplished. Free dinner - check. Not having to deal with the guy (I am not interested in) anymore - check. Mission accomplished.

  4. Missed a chance for revenge OP

  5. Obviously she was hoping you would get a room.

  6. Maybe she didn't push you into the pool. Sometimes people trip and fall and don't like to admit their own mistake. And maybe she was trying to start conversation with comments about the decor, but you were only interested in talking about yourself, so she got bored and stopped caring. Just another possible side to the story.


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