I'm Sure He Only Caught Your Best Side

Story Submitted by Kimberley:

John and I met at a casual business networking night. He caught my eye and we swapped business cards.

After a couple of hours I decided to leave and whilst saying goodbye to my new business chums, John made his interests clear. "You’re leaving already? Can I buy you a drink?"

I explained that I had to go and we briefly chatted while he made the point that he lives locally and gets very lonely (puppy dog eyes, etc.).

We ended the conversation with him inviting me for drinks two nights later. He said lots of web industry people would be there.  Having split from my ex over 12 months ago, I was enjoying the attention and agreed to go.

He rang to confirm on the morning of the date and I soon found myself in mutual flirtation with him in a busy pub on a Friday night. Half an hour later, two of his mates arrived (neither of whom worked in the web industry). We ordered dinner and John made a point of asking if he could buy mine, to which I agreed. I was on a high and everyone was having fun.

We left the pub and kissed briefly.  He whispered, "You know it’s just sex?" Yeah, I knew it was just sex and that was fine with me. After all, it had been just over 12 months and I was gaggin’ for a shaggin’!

Things were soon heating up back at his place to seductive music and dimmed lighting.

Having undressed we decided to move from the lounge to the bedroom and I took the opportunity to visit the bathroom.

Fifty minutes later, a beeping noise came from the direction of his stereo system and he said the following words with which my heart sank, "Oh, the battery must have gone flat."

I froze. Absolutely devastated and in complete shock. He had filmed the entire affair.  He got up and walked over to a camera.

"You must be joking!" I was horrified and it was no joke. "Since when did you think it was okay to film without even asking?"

"Chill out!" he said, "It’s only 30 seconds.  The battery went flat."

I immediately got dressed and he begrudgingly took me home, but only after suggesting that I not be an old fuddy-duddy (he’s five years younger), and showing absolutely zero remorse.

He rang the next day wanting sex, told me that the tape was 50 minutes long and not to make this personal. "Then delete the tape and it won’t be personal!" I demanded.

He eventually texted to say, "I’m sorry u feel so upset. I will delete it no worries. Thanks 4 a fun night. Take care."  Clearly, here was a man showing his strength of character by apologising via text.

So I now ask the audience: What single male would delete a tape of himself having sex?

A week after the regretful night I decided to call the local cop shop to see what they had to say. The verdict: in terms of criminal law there is nothing I can do about it. There is a law that states that if people are being filmed in a public place they must be made aware of this with signage, e.g. CCTV area, however, as he filmed within his house this law does not apply.


  1. Next time you find out a skeezo has been taping you, you demand the tape BEFORE you leave his house in an angry huff.

    Hopefully he won't be an asshole about it and post it to the internet.

    ...if he does however, link us? ;D

  2. I also co-sign with you should have gotten the tape before leaving, but the line about "gaggin for a shaggin" was fucking classic!

  3. All together now - "Do not leave the scene without the recording!"

    I had a roommate whose boyfriend showed about six of us a sex tape they had made after telling her he deleted it. Then he swore us to secrecy! Since I caught the bitch stealing cash from my purse, I never told her.

  4. "gaggin' for a shaggin'!"
    I swear, being on this site increases my vocab better than lolcats ever could.

  5. What country are you in? In the US I'm quite sure it's illegal to film someone in the nude without them knowing it. Talk to the District Attorney's office about it, cops unfortunately don't always know every law (there are too many laws for any human to memorize, but the DA can look them up quicker)

  6. Seems like they're in the UK, or a derivative (lol?), judging by the words used: "lots" (in the context), "shaggin", "pub", "CCTV", spelling with an "s" in words that normally use "z" in the U.S.

  7. What a creep!

    Oh and the fact that I'm familiar with the phrase "gaggin for a shaggin" and the terms local cop shop and "no worries", I gotta say "G'day fellow Aussie"

  8. any girl who says she's 'gagging for a shaggin' deserves to get videotaped without her consent.

  9. You may have just missed the tell-tale signs of undisclosed sex videotaping. Did he yell "Aaaaaaand scene. That's a wrap, people" when you were done?

  10. The only problem I see here is, that there is no link to the video!
    Please fix this!

  11. Yeah, he didn't delete it.

    And yeah, you should never have left the apartment without the tape/memory card/whatever, even if you had to break his camera to get it.


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