Stood Up and Counted

Story Submitted by Drew:

In college, I met Jenna in a biology class.  We worked together on a few labs, I always made her laugh, and eventually I worked up the nerve to ask her out.

The night of the date, I had planned for us to meet in the main quad and walk to dinner.  She was about 20 minutes late when I called her.  No answer.

After a ten more minutes, I called again.  Someone who was not Jenna picked up.  I asked if Jenna was coming to meet me.

The woman on the phone said that Jenna was in the shower "and probably won't be out for a long time... if you know what I mean."

Of course I did.  It meant that Jenna was standing me up.  I asked to speak to Jenna, but the woman (who identified herself as a roommate) said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea.  So I hung up and went off to have dinner with some friends instead.

I figured that would be all, but that next Tuesday morning, before afternoon bio lab, where I'd be seeing Jenna again, she called me.

She asked, "Where are you?"

"In my room."

She said, "I'm waiting for you.  We're doing lunch before class."

This was strange.  We hadn't made any plans.  I said, "I have a paper to finish and I'm seeing a friend for lunch before lab."

"So you're standing me up?"

What a weird thing for her to say.  I said, "That implies that we had made plans and one of us backed out.  Like last week, for example."

She screamed, "Don't you fucking bring up last week!"

I shouted over her, "Remember, when you stood me up?  We made no plans for today and I'm busy and I have things to do that are more important than fuck around with you."

"I'm coming to you.  Right now.  We'll settle this.  I know where you live."

That was my cue to hang up, lock the door, and leave.  I found a hidden spot in the library where I finished my paper in peace. 

When I was about to pack up for lunch, she texted me, "Are you going to lunch with a girl?"

I was, but I didn't think that Jenna needed to know that.  I ignored her message, but she texted me a few more times, having a lively conversation with herself:

"It's a girl, isn't it?"

"What's it like to be a man-whore?"

"You are such an asshole."

"Call me."

She didn't show up to bio lab that afternoon.  I worked with another group that day and for the rest of the semester.


  1. Great story, love how you managed to come across the only fifteen year old girl in college. The "call me" at the end of her textual tirade is priceless.

    Also, being a man-whore rocks, not even sure how that'd come across as an insult.. I miss the anonymous Tiger Woods comments.

  2. Is this site dying or is it just me?

    Ah I see why. Can't post as anonymous anymore. JMG, been reading since you started this site and have had many great laughs, but the emails thing just isn't very funny.



  3. @Tryntius

    Thanks for your input!


  4. Tryntius reminds me of the "correct it" it guy. Which could be a good thing, don't get me wrong... That was an instant classic.

  5. @Cereja- I was thinking the same thing!!

  6. Jared,

    Emails are the second lowest form of communication after forum posting. Correct it.

    There's a whirlpool of trash in the Pacific Ocean because of an overuse of plastic bags and littering. Correct it.

    Kanye West's tweets keep overloading my Twitter feed. Correct it.

    Tryntius has add nothing interesting to the conversation. Correct it.

    I never see you outside my house at night, peering in the windows and doing something suspect with your hands. Correct it, baby. Oh! Oh! OH! CORRECT ME!

    Love, Nikki


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