First Comes Marriage, Then Comes Love

Story Submitted by Alyssa:

Barry and I met at a MeetUp group for hikers.  I had been out of a relationship for a while, and hadn't been in any kind of rush to enter into anything else, but I felt differently around him than I had around most other guys I had met around that time.  I can't really explain it, but I liked him almost instantly, and he seemed to have felt the same way.

We spent time together outside of the group and moved into a physical relationship soon enough.  Within a couple of weeks, he had met lots of my friends, my parents, was calling me his "girlfriend," and emotions sometimes winning the best of us, I was just too swept up in things to notice much else.

It wasn't until a week or two later that things took a darker turn.  A mutual friend called me out of the blue to congratulate me on my engagement.

As far I as knew, I wasn't engaged to anybody, but she told me that Barry had told her otherwise.

I called Barry to ask him what it was all about, and he laughed it off, saying that it was all a joke. 

What wasn't a joke was when my parents called to ask me why I hadn't called them to tell them that I was engaged.  Barry had.  How did he even find their number?  He had met them once!

We met in person at a restaurant and when I brought that up, he said, "Things are going in that direction, don't you think?"

I said that it was a little fast to be talking engagement, but he said that he wanted to check out event halls with me the next weekend.  I already had plans with friends for that weekend, though.

He was displeased with that, and then did something really odd: he tried to bend his fork so as to tie a knot in it.  He couldn't do it, but it rubbed me the wrong way.

The next time we spoke, it was over the phone that night.  I told him that things were going too fast for me.

He hung up.

He appeared at my door a half-hour later down on one knee and with flowers.  He asked, "Will you marry me?  Might as well make it official."

I told him that I liked him, but that he was going too fast.  "Why too fast?" he kept asking, every time I tried to explain it. 

He finally left, after I told him that I needed space.  I then called up my friends to explain the situation, and how he was beginning to frighten me. 

I have some great friends, a few of whom agreed to come over or spend more time around me in the forthcoming days.

I didn't have long to wait for an explosive situation, though.  The very next day, he called me, told me that he was outside of my office building, and that he wanted to talk.  I brought a couple of work friends downstairs with me.

When he saw them, his fists visibly clenched, but he came on as friendly as possible.  "I just wanted to see how you were," he said.

I told him that it was nice of him to drop by, but that I had to make it back to work.  He asked if we could talk alone, and I told him that I wasn't comfortable with that. 

He started screaming, "You're mine!  You're mine!"

One of my coworkers, Eli, grabbed hold of Barry's shoulders and yelled in his face to leave or that the police would be called.  Barry shoved Eli away and ran off.

That night, Barry called to apologize.  He asked if he could come over, and I told him that I wasn't comfortable with that.  He cried my ear off for hours, telling me that ex-girlfriends had broken him, that he was desperate for a family, that he was sorry, sorry sorry... that he'd understand if I never wanted to see him again, etc.

I told him that I felt it best that we went our separate ways.  He asked if he could come by to see me for one last time, as he didn't want to be remembered last for the afternoon incident.

My thoughts were that it would only make it more difficult for him, so we let things lie.  I hope that he's doing well, wherever he is, just so long as wherever he is remains far away from me.