Party Your Stomach Out

Submitted by Andrew:

Nicole and I met while we were on line to enter a concert.  We were both with our respective groups of friends, but somehow or other, we ended up being mashed together in the crowd.

I wasn't going to say anything to her at first.  I'll admit that I can be shy.  But she looked at me for a bit longer than a typical glance, and she was the most beautiful woman I had seen in a really long time. 

My first thought was, "She must have a boyfriend."

Swear to God, her first words to me were, "I don't have a boyfriend," followed by, "You want to hang out?"

We were both there with friends, but I think that we both felt an instant connection.  I told my friends that I'd catch up with them, and she told her friends the same.

The place was jam-packed, and Nicole and I were forced together, literally pressed up against each other, through much of the night.  It was awesome.  We drank and made out right on the dance floor.

When we finally made it out of there, she asked, "Your place or mine?"

This was on track to be the best evening ever.

It wasn't.

Her place was closer, but she was having trouble walking.  A lot of trouble.  I essentially carried her to her apartment and helped her into bed.

By this point, I realized that she was way too trashed, and I was not trashed enough, for us to do anything about which I wouldn't feel oddly guilty.  I liked her, sure, but I didn't want to take advantage of her.

She seemed to have her mind set, though.  She sat up quickly from her bed and wrapped her arms around my neck.  "Come to bed with me," she whispered, and hugged me tight.  I hugged her back.

Then I felt a warm, sticky sensation through my shirt and on my back.

She was vomiting.

I tore away from her and ripped my shirt off.  Next, I grabbed a towel and shoved it at her to clean up.  She heaved and coughed.  I turned a light on, brought her some water, and sat with her until she was cleaned up and started to snore.

I wrote her a note with my number on it, and left it by her night table.  It basically said that I had a good time with her, and that I hoped we could meet up sometime, hopefully under more sober conditions.

As things turned out, we did go on a date, and that one had its own set of problems.  But that's all for now.


  1. There are some things that can ruin a date. Vomit is one of these things.

  2. ^Large globules of snot are another.

    I love that we've had TWO "cliff-hanger" date stories recently. I can't wait to hear about how awful the second date was! (Which makes me a bad person, I think...)

  3. You're not a bad person Nikki.

    Heh. Kidding. You are.

  4. The only direction this story can go is if she crapped her pants on the next date.

    She...she didn't crap her pants on the next date...did she?

  5. I had to read the opener twice. Amazing that this is one of the few dates posted where they didn't meet online but still met "on line."

    I am so sorry Andrew, this was sounding awesome until she puked on you.

  6. One 'warm, sticky sensation on a back' deserves another. You had your 'shot'....should have taken it!

  7. Aw, thanks, Jared. You're a horrible human being too. <3

    And Howie, I have to say, I'm with you on this one. If she's gonna make a mess, why not make one of his own? ;D

  8. This is why I save my rum-and-ipecac cocktails for after gettin' busy. It keeps me from having the mouth babies.

  9. Oh I had a second date like this once. Good times.

  10. "In line" would have made more sense....but really, dude, you meet a girl in a mosh pit and get wasted, then stumble to this stranger's place. Why would you ever expect it to work out great? Get real.

  11. Agree with Nicki, I want to get some follow-up stories here. Don't taunt us like this, OPs!

  12. Who hasn't had this date?

  13. she was totally ready for you, you shoulda hit it!

  14. @lambe: I haven't had this date. Although I did have to pick a boyfriend up from the hospital after he got alcohol poisoning because he mixed high doses of Ritalin with high doses of vodka. He was covered in vomit all over his preppy clothes (sweater vest, button up, khakis, and loafers), and he had lost a shoe. Does that count as a date?

  15. Actually I know of a married couple who have been together for over 10 years now and on their first date the girl puked all over. She wasn't drunk she had food poisoning. Poor thing was so embarrassed but he took care of her and she says that's when she knew she was going to marry him. He had been trying to go out with her for months before and she kept saying no but finally agreed (then she threw up ha-ha). True story.


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