Don't Check Your E-mail That Day

Submitted by Milos:

There's too much information, and then there's a date with Jessica. 

Some of the info she sent me, online before our date, was very forthcoming.  She said in one such message, "An ex-boyfriend got me pregnant, but I lost the baby."  In another, "I was in an amateur porno film in college."

These sorts of admissions, I thought, were rather personal, but I took it to mean that she trusted me, and I didn't discourage her sharing of them.  She said that she had "settled down quite a bit," and wasn't the wild girl that she used to be.  She seemed nice, as far as I was concerned, so what harm was there in meeting her?

When I did, we sat down for brunch and she shifted herself around in the booth.  She leaned in and whispered, "You should probably know that I'm burning."

I asked her for clarification, and she said, "My vagina.  It's kind of burning today."

"Maybe you should see a doctor?" I suggested.

She said, "I will, if it lasts."

Not five minutes later, after we had ordered tea, she stood up and said that she had to go.  I offered to drive her anywhere she wanted, but she said that she'd be fine.  She just had to go.  So she went. 

I paid for the teas and left.  An hour later, I sent her a text, asking her to shoot me a message once she was able.

She texted back, "Didn't feel any chemistry.  Sorry!"

I wasn't sure what I had said or done in those less-than-five minutes during which we spoke over barely-drank tea. 

I texted back, "Okay.  I hope your vagina's okay."

She texted in response, "OMG it isn't.  I'll write you later all about it."

Her vagina e-mail never arrived, but a week later, another message did: "Sorry I've been out of touch.  I'll send you that e-mail soon.  Promise!"

I'm still waiting for it, but certainly not with bated breath.


  1. Her text back made me laugh out loud. Sounds like something a girl would say to her very best and close personal friend, not a guy she'd just met. This girl is weird, but fun. I hope she finds a kooky guy just like her.

  2. Of course she felt some chemistry, it just wasn't the good kind. You dodged a syphilis bullet there OP

  3. I...I can't even think of anything to say about this. How completely bizarre.

  4. Some people are just honest. Still, to acknowledge that your pussy is blowing smoke signals during the date is rather forward by conventional standards.

    If I were in the same position as the OP, I'd have text back, offing to decode the message; 911 - FIRE.

  5. Haha, I was expecting to hear she was "burning with lust" not chlamydia! At least your bad date was a short date...


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.