What a Beach

Submitted by Hunter:

Rosa and I were in early dating stages when we decided to hit the New Jersey beach for a day.  We packed up the car and drove there as early as we could, although several like-minded folks had the same idea.  We could tell, even early on, that it was going to be a busy day, but at least we could pick out our own spot and enjoy it as much as possible.

We were lounging out for maybe about an hour and a half when it became exponentially more crowded.

There were a few shops on the boardwalk including some food places.  Rosa asked me if I wanted anything and said that she was going to go grab something to eat.  I offered to go with her, but she said that she'd be right back.

Almost an hour later, she hadn't returned.  I figured that she had perhaps also gone to the bathroom, or that maybe there was a long line.

She didn't come back for a little while longer, and I started to worry.  She had brought her handbag with her, which had her phone, and I tried calling it.  No luck.  I looked around the immediate area, but of course there was no sign of her.

I asked one of my neighbors if she would mind keeping an eye on our stuff while I ran off to find Rosa.  I walked up and down the boardwalk, becoming more and more anxious.  I tried calling her twice more.  Nothing.

I thought about finding a police officer, but thought that that might have been too rash at the moment.  She hadn't been missing for too, too long, and I was sure that there was a logical explanation.

I walked past a little cafe with an outdoor deck, and took a look at the seated patrons, which I hadn't done before, having assumed that she very likely wouldn't be sitting in such a place by herself.  She had said that she'd be right back, after all.

Well, turns out she was indeed sitting down, and she wasn't alone.  Two guys were at the table with her, and they all seemed in good spirits.

I wove my way to the table and greeted them.  Her face noticeably dropped.  She introduced them as old friends who happened to be coincidentally visiting the beach on the same day.

I remarked that I tried calling her, and she looked at her friends, rolled her eyes, and said, "Yeah.  It's a little creepy.  If I don't pick up, just leave a message."  She gave a nervous laugh.

Well, forgive me for being concerned.  "I'll be right back," doesn't usually mean, "I'll come back when I feel like it, after spending time with these two guys.  Even though I could've picked up the phone to let you know that I'd be a bit longer."  I had no problem with her spending time with her guy friends.  It was her inconsiderate attitude that bothered me.

I made as if to stand and said, "Well, don't let me creep you out any further.  I'll be back at the blanket.  It was nice meeting you guys," and I shook their hands.

"What's your problem?" she hissed, then turned to her guy friends and said, "See?"

"See what?" I asked, curious about what she had already told them about me.

She rolled her eyes again, said, "Never mind.  I'll be back there in a bit, all right?  Go."

I went back, intent on forgetting all about her and enjoying the beach.  She hardly spoke to me for the rest of the day, and on the ride back.  It was the last time that I ever wanted to see her, and it was.


  1. You should've told the guys, "She's very easily embarrassed. Sweetie, I just wanted to remind you to take your syphilis meds." And while she screamed up and down that she didn't have syphilis, you'd say, "See?"

  2. I'm also in favor of leaving her ass at the Jersey Shore. Those guys could have driven her home. If she left any gear at the blanket, then you could have left that there for the guidos to pick through.

    Good for you for having a good time by yourself and not being a dick to her, even after she was a right c-bomb to you.

  3. Yeah, you should've left her ass there. Let one of her awesome guy "friends" drive her home since she wanted to be with them so bad.

  4. "Whenever a chick says 'I'll be right back', write them off, man. They always end up leaving with some retarded big-Joe guy."
    from "Wristcutters: A Love Story"

  5. The best part is where he waits for her after she told him to "go." Priceless. Amoebae have more spine.

  6. I would have left her there. She's a big girl who could have found her own way home.

  7. I agree with the "OP should have gone ass-to-ass" commenters...

    Oh wait!

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