Check the Number and Don't Dial Again

Submitted by Wendy:

My date with Rich was off-putting, but more so was what happened after.

I met him online.  His music choices were what piqued my interest at first, followed by his sense of humor.  He worked for a medical equipment company, which wasn't the humorous part, and also was an aspiring stand-up comic.

Online, then over the phone, he did indeed make me laugh.  Why not meet and see if there's a connection?

He took me out to a restaurant.  Soon after we sat down, he slammed down two beers faster than you could say, "You're a drunk."

"Helps me loosen up," he explained, "Don't worry, I can hold it."

I've heard that twice before from other guys (both of whom couldn't hold it), and soon Rich was loud and obnoxious, but I focused on having a good time.  He didn't make me feel uncomfortable, aside from the fact that he addressed precisely half of his statements to my chest.

After dinner, we parted ways (it was a work night, after all), and on my way home, I received a text from him:


It was such a strange message, I wondered if it was a technical error on the part of his phone.  I ignored it, figuring that if he had anything intelligible to say, then I would respond to that.

I didn't have long to wait.  Another message arrived.


Uh oh.  Well, mistakes happen, and sometimes they're of the flattering variety.  I typed out, "Hey, Rich.  Wendy here.  I think you meant for that last message to go to–"

Then, before I could complete it, the following arrived:


After picking my face up from the ground, I decided to handle it with a good sense of humor.  I wrote, "Thanks for the compliment, Rich.  You've been sending these texts to me, Wendy, by the way."

I can't imagine what sort of reaction he must have had.

I didn't hear from him until about three weeks later.  A simple text arrived that read, "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it!" was my response, but at that point, I was already dating someone new.  It didn't matter anyway, as that was the last I heard from him.


  1. FIRST!

    What a good sense of humor you have. I'm sure that it will serve you well.

  2. Whoopsie! Maybe now he'll know better than to text while wasted!

    The whole "SASASA" thing reminded me of Dale from King of the Hill.

  3. ahahahahahhahaahaha! Way to handle it with a sense of grace, OP, and not turn this story into A Bad Case of the Rapes.

    PS: Jared, why did you end the ability for people to troll anonymously? Like I told my boyfriend, mocking the gutless anonymous trolls is a time-honored tradition on this blog. I mean, I respect your decision--God knows it's valid--but still. Rather abrupt. :P

  4. Haha oh man poor guy, though it was his own fault.
    Oh and Nikki, it wasn't just trolls that posted anonymously, I liked to do so because it was easier.

  5. Jared thank you for getting rid of the trolls I was so sick of hearing about stupid lame Tiger Woods jokes especially since that was so old news. I would post anonymously on occassion too because it was easier but I don't mind posting under my real name. Hi all I'm Melina

  6. Hello Melina and Ashley,

    Don't think that just because the anons are gone, the Tiger Woods jokes are gone (although I wish they were). There is little stopping an anonymous troll from getting a quick Blogger account (or two), using a fake name, and uncreatively driving a "catch phrase" off a cliff.

    Shit, do you know what I just realized?! Without being able to log in anonymously, what will Seven-Thirty do?! God, please let him be too lazy to create an "official" sign-in!!

  7. Nikki you are so right. I used to love reading the comments hell sometimes they were better than the stories but lately they were getting so bad that I would quickly scan them or just not read them at all. If I saw there were over 20 comments I knew more than half were trolls.

  8. Hehe, great story, classy response. Hopefully he'll grow up a wee bit after this.

  9. If I see the words "Tiger Woods", "Mel Gibson", or "Seven-Thirty" in/on a comment, I skip it.

  10. Shhhhhh, (or sasasasasasaaaa) don't bait him Nikki!

    And Baku-chan, at least Mel Gibson's crazy ass is still relevant!

    I think we're going to miss out on a good deal of anonymous hilarity, as well as the inane trolls. I would take either crowd over the cough7cough rhymes with dirty dribble anytime.

    Love this date and OP. Very funny.

  11. YOU CAN'T STOP US!!! Dodged a bullet! Asbergers! Case of teh gheys! Tiger Woods! Troll Troll Trolll!

  12. Rich is clearly a member of 4chan.

  13. How do I get the blogger profile pic to show up?

    ...there it is, just had to preview.

    BTW, this is much better than Anonymous trolling!

  14. i.want.to.go.buttrape@gmail.com is a real email address (remember the early days of gmail invites? they sucked!). If you want to meet up, email me. I provide all "special services"...

    Yes, primarily buttrape.

  15. ^Is it still butt *rape* if people are emailing you and asking for it?

  16. 2 beers and he was drunk?!

  17. ^ One of the beers was for her.

    I'm willing to bet they had a few more after that, or he's just a lightweight!


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