Submitted by Sia:
I had an anthropology class with Adam. He was tall and gawky, and I didn't think that he was too attractive, but he was always very nice, and seemed like he'd make a good friend.
One day, around the end of the semester, he asked me out to dinner. I told him that I'd be glad to go, but that I wasn't interested in dating. He sounded fine with that.
He took me to a nice restaurant close to campus. We had a good conversation, and he was clearly a good listener. I felt like we got along great, and any concerns that I might have had were washed away.
Then he asked me if I was seeing anyone. I told him that I wasn't, but that I was too busy to really consider a relationship at that time.
He said that he'd be really understanding if I wanted to take things slow. I repeated that I was really only looking for friends. I was trying to be as gentle with possible.
He persisted. "What's your ideal guy like?" he asked.
I listed off the usuals (fun, smart, compassionate, good-looking), plus a specific or two (I particularly like painters, musicians, singers, and guys who are mechanically inclined).
He shrugged and said, "I can do all of that. You see, Sia," he took my hand, but I ripped it away. He didn't seem to notice, "I've been reading a lot of short stories lately about women who find guys that they don't like at first, but then they spend more time with them and get to know them and then they start liking them. You know, like really looking on the inside of a person."
I said that this was great. However, I didn't want to be seeing anybody.
He asked, "But what if your ideal guy is right in front of you, and this is your one chance to start something with him?"
I replied, "My loss, I guess."
I knew that this wasn't what he wanted to hear. He stared at me and muttered something.
"What?" I asked.
He said, "You're a big fucking idiot."
I left then and there. I told all of my friends. They told their friends. The rest of the semester was particularly uncomfortable for him, I'm sure, but he never spoke to me again, after that.
I'm amazed how many of these stories boil down to simply socially inept guys who don't know how to read people, or how to modify their behavior to attract the right women. There's a whole class of exactly this same story on this blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd after I read each one, I'm stuck with a mental image of a guy standing on the median in the middle of the road, head hung low, mumbling, "Just five minutes... just five minutes... that's all it would take... just five minutes..."
I was with the OP up until the last paragraph. You told all your friends and made sure they told their friends? What are you, 12? The guy was obviously crushing hard and handled himself very poorly and immaturely, but I don't think he deserved to be kicked in the balls *that* hard.
ReplyDeleteJC
I agree with JC. Yeah this guy is socially awkward, but humiliating him by making sure that everyone knew about it was cold on the part of the OP...
ReplyDeleteWow dude was asking for it and he got it
ReplyDeleteIt's spelled Tadeusz not Thadeus it is a polish famous name
So you dated a social inept and turned him into a bitter social inept with good motive to turn on you.
ReplyDeleteIf nothing bad ever becomes of this it means you've hurt an innocent guy who wouldn't even think harm to a girl who intentionally ostracized him.
This guy has a bad case of the Ducky syndrome. Watches too many John Hughes movies where the quirky friend is obviously the better choice than the rich, popular douchebag (Andrew McCarthyism).
ReplyDeleteDid he make you a mix tape, all with songs of unrequited love and The Cure?
I don't see where this girl made him into a "bitter social inept". She told him up front she wasn't interested in romance, and he refused to accept it (based on short, romance stories, really?).
ReplyDeleteHe was rude. She told her friends about it, same as I'm sure most people would. Nowhere in this story does it say she told her friends to tell everyone they knew. They did it themselves.
The guy was an idiot who wouldn't take "no" for an answer and became hostile when his so-called "research" on women failed to work. His fault.
It's normal to be tongue-tied when talking to the opposite sex. But when you untie it and spew out an insult, expect to get spanked.
ReplyDeleteThis has more to do with the OP and to a lesser extent the guy but for some reason everyone calls out the guy. OP should have known better.
ReplyDeleteThis OP is a narcissistic piece of work (I mean sh!t). Oh and for the potential flame tards, I'm just pissed about people misrepresenting reality to present their actions in a better light.
OP you've made your bed and complained about laying in it.
There is no way that any good could have came from this, but of course it's a nice ego stroker for the OP and her selfishness.
So you are not interested in this guy but accept his advances not because of the possibility of friendship (for which there could never be - being that the other person had completely different expectations) but rather to exploit him for a free meal, boost your ego and whatever else may become of it.
"I told all of my friends. They told their friends." Good for you. Classy and real mature. I'm glad you came to share with us what garbage of a human being you are. Deep down you probably know how rotten you are inside.
Fat Bitch
Wow, OP, I was with you until the last paragraph.
ReplyDelete6:05 I hope your post was a joke. But I fear it was honest. No possibility of a platonic friendship? Sounds like projecting (and angrily, at that).
ReplyDeleteI can overlook OP's last paragraph. She sounded like a nice person to me - who was simply pushed until she reacted. But maybe I'm just gullible.
OP is a freeloading cow.
ReplyDeleteReading short stories is definitely a wise way to learn about women. Just like watching Friends is a great way to learn how to make friends.
ReplyDeleteWhew. A whole lot of stuff going on here. Okay, let's talk about intent, as this seems to be the catalyst that caused this date to burn.
ReplyDeleteBoth parties went into the date with conflicting intents. Adam wanted romance, and Sia wanted a free meal in a fancy restaurant. Yes, that's all she wanted. Her attempts to convince me she was interested in friendship feel flat to me.
Not only did both have conflicting intents, but neither were honest and upfront with them. Once Sia said she wasn't interested in dating, Adam should have cancelled the date being that's his intent. Sia should've been honest with her meaning, being it's not that she's not interested in dating, she's just not interested in dating Adam.
Simply put, this date never should've happened. As much as people try to twist reality into "we're just going out as friends", going somewhere alone with someone the first time you're going out with them is a date. It's a date. Sitting alone with someone of your sexual preferance in a fancy restaurant is romantic. I really don't know how much more I can explain such a simple concept.
If Sia was trully interested in friendship, she would've invited Adam to hang with her and her friends, invited him to a party, or just have a drink with him. Why didn't she offer that? Oh, because a drink's only five dollars and a fancy meal is twenty-five.
If Adam was trully okay with friendship he should've toned the date down. Why didn't he? Oh, because he was willing to lie for a chance to be romantic.
Sure, both parties are guilty of several factors during the date, but the fact the date even took place tells me neither are mature enough to be honest, and without honesty there can't be a true relationship.
Even with just a friend.
Wow. I think Adam was spot-on. OP, you were (are?) an immature, self-centered fool. You probably passed up a great guy. But luckily for Adam, he dodged a bullet.
ReplyDelete...some of these long winded resposes make me feel like I"m reading a Dear Abbey column for fuck sakes!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nom on this one. This date's impetus was in John Hughes movies and chick flicks. The quiet, shy guy going up to the pretty, popular girl and it magically works out in the end. Unfortunately it never happens that way or else all the socially awkward guys out there would be with super models.
ReplyDeleteSia, Some People Have Real Problems
I'm with ya on that one, 12:49. I mean, I'm all for meaningful discourse as much as the next person, but as we've proved time and time again, thoughtful comments with well thought out theses do NOT belong in this forum. :P
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna cum on OP's dog.
ReplyDelete^^ i just lost my erection thinking about that.
ReplyDelete