Lady Unluck

Submitted by Ray:

Donna and I met at a professional conference at the Excalibur in Vegas.  She caught my eye at a presentation and I sought her out afterward.  We talked, had drinks in a group, and took a walk around town alone together afterward.  We kissed right on the street, and we spent the night in her room.

The next day, the last of the conference, she was nowhere to be seen.  I made a couple of inquiries, but she was gone.  Ah, well.  What else was I expecting?

Certainly not the phone call a few days later.  She rang and said, "Hey, Ray.  I miss you."

She lived a little over a thousand miles away from me, and although hearing all of the nice things she said to me was very flattering, I wasn't really up for such a long-distance relationship.

All in all, it was nice of her to reach out, I thought, and we ended the call as friends.

A few days later, she called again.  "Hey, Ray.  What are you up to?"

Friendly enough, but it was just a little weird.  Especially when the friendly-catch-up calls turned into an every other day affair.  I began avoiding her calls, and they soon arrived every day.  Her messages made no mention of the fact that I wasn't picking up - only that she missed me and hoped that I was okay.

She left one, finally, that said, "Guess what?  I'm traveling to your area on a business trip!  Let's meet up again."

I called her back to inform her that it wasn't necessary for her to leave as many messages and call as often as she did, although I'd be glad to meet up with her over a quick cup of coffee.

She made a few strange moaning noises, then said that she'd call me back.

I didn't hear from her for several months after that.  I figured that I wouldn't hear from her ever again.

I received an e-mail from her about a month ago.  To summarize, it read that she had told her husband that she had met me and was planning on leaving him for me.  Her husband didn't take this so well and put up such a "fuss" (to use her word) that the two of them had gone to couples therapy and put their lives back on track.

She then apologized and said that despite the fact that she'd be "obviously hurting [my] feelings," she didn't think that she and I should be in touch anymore.

Hopefully, that will be the end of that.


  1. Ew... Did you know this person was married, or did you even bother to ask?

  2. Since when do one night stands count as dates?

  3. Seven-Thirty9/20/2010 10:12 AM

    What did the OP say to her that night in Vegas?

  4. That's not a bad date, that's banging a married chick with no consequences.

  5. so it was a one-night stand..in OP's mind. the OP was in vegas for a "business" conference (as so he says), found a quick and easy booty call to suffice his trip (without the expense of paying a prostitute), then decided the booty nor the girl were worth a long-distance relationship. wow. you clearly had no intentions of pursuing anything beyond that night, you knew that going in. you should have communicated that with her BEFORE sleeping with her, and allowed her to make the decision of whether or not she was okay with that. that way, if she chose to pursue you after that, it would have been in her own ignorance. and ending the first phone call as "friends", again, that sounds like something OP 'thought' versus making that clear to the female.

    and to add insult to injury, you avoided her calls for..how long?!..but then you suddenly return the call when she tells you she's coming your way. ".... what else was i expecting?" another freebie. she read right through it. she may not even be married. her email was probably just a cover-up for the pain of recognized rejection, and she was hoping that by telling you she had a husband, it would 'sting' you a bit. poor girl.

    i tell you, OP, guys like you should be neutered!

  6. @ 10:38: if he had told her before hand, he would have had less of a chance of sleeping with her.

    Go OP!

  7. 10:38's comment betrays a lack of understanding of the one-night stand.

    If no conditions are discussed beforehand, conditions cannot be assumed after. There are no default conditions, and nothing needs to be made explicit, as in this case. Assumption of conditions after the fact merely suggest insanity. This logic is supported by the facts of the story.

  8. @ 10:38: Your whole comment is a useless read, a real waste of space here. You must be Seven-Thirty or Married.

  9. Word. 10:38 is an idiot.

    If you sleep with a guy the first night you meet, it is by default a one-night-stand.

  10. You don't give a one night stand your phone number.
    And I agree and disagree with 10:38. You have to be honest if all you want is a one nighter, but when should that come up? Usually never. He must have led her on for her to react that way, and giving her his number is definitely sending the wrong message.
    OP, you need to stop believe what sounds like a rumor. I don't care how bad a marriage is, no one leaves their spouse for someone they met once. I guarantee you're not that amazing.

  11. Donna = Prostitute
    Husband = Pimp
    Counseling = Ho beat-down

    There we go, now this story makes more sense.

  12. As bad of a date rthat this was...and it was lame...
    it was FAR more interesting than Architects previous submission!

  13. Damn those pesky husbands. How childish of him to put up a "fuss" when his wife, with whom he's been trying to patch things up with, suddenly tells him she's leaving him for some other guy she had a one-night stand with. Pansy-ass whiner.

  14. Yikes! That's... wow. I really don't understand this girl.


  15. @Kate Weber

    Stop peddling you blog on this website. If you want attention go look for it somewhere else.

  16. On some level the OP must have been hoping for another one-nighter with this woman. Otherwise, after all the psycho calls and messages, why agree at all to "meet for coffee?"

    One-night stands are fine. But in this case, by that time, you clearly weren't going to have your cake and eat it too. You should have stopped answering her calls completely.

  17. ^Agreed. OP is a douche-nozzle, and it's really sad that this woman clung to the hope of leaving her (obviously fucked up) marriage for some guy she only met/fucked once in Las Vegas. And this is why the city's slogan is also a cautionary message: "Whatever happens in Vegas, SHOULD STAY in Vegas."

  18. The "Frank" fellow from a previous post and this one should get together. They can sit together and discuss how great they are and end it with great sweaty sex. The greatness arises from their need to show how self aware they are with their realization that they are the bad date

    It's this sort of guy that gives the rest of us a bad reputation. I'm a guy and I think you ought to be incinerated. Neutered, you might find a way to breed and we wouldn't want that.

    By the way, she probably disappeared because she was mortified that she slept with you. I think they call that "buyer's remorse" or maybe the sex was just that shitty and degrading. You spent the night in her room? Too cheap to have a room of your own? The least you could have done is taken her to yours, assuming that it was nice enough to take a woman to. Or were you staying at a Howard Johnson?

    It's obvious she cared, so why not simply tell her. But being the sack less, nut less wonder you are, you just dodged the responsibility. Bravo. Tell us more about how she was the bad date.

    This wasn't a date. A date involves some intent to carry forward or attachment. She ought to have hired an escort. That would have been a more substantial experience than you seemed to have offered. Please take your crap story elsewhere.

  19. Seven-Thirty9/21/2010 7:11 AM

    Seldom are ABCOD posts about all consuming love at first sight.

    There is not enough information in the OP's account to understand why the woman fell for him. Did she hear the lyrics of Marley's "Is this love" from the OP's lips as they were entwined on the polyester bed cover?

    The OP wouldn't have been the first person to be unable to be direct and break off communication. He was flattered by her attention even if it was undesired. It was wrong of him to feed her delusion.

    Chief and 10:38 seem to have antasies about castration of the socially callous/inept. What are breeding for?

  20. what happen to the saying what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

  21. OP must have done darn well at his deed to have her that hooked or that girl is seriously a psycho.

  22. First, I agree with 12:09 regarding giving your number to a one-night stand (especially a one-nighter in Vegas). Second, how fucking nutballs do you have to be to decide to leave your husband and presumably your friends, job, etc for the object of said one-night stand who won't even return your calls?


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