A Closet Is No Place for a Mighty Woman

Submitted by Joanna:

Corey and I had been on one date already, and it had gone well enough for us to kiss goodnight... for twenty minutes. Needless to say, I was really looking forward to seeing him again.

Corey was in the middle of an employment transition. He was an engineer, but it was for a big company, and he was doing a lot of consulting work on the side in preparation for leaving the corporation..

I was a big supporter of his plan to freelance, and it was after a meeting that he had on a Friday that we had decided to have our second date.

"Everything's on me, tonight," he said, "I think that this client's going to be the one."

"The one" referred to the one client who would pay him enough to make it worthwhile for him to quit his 9-5. Corey had been seeking out this "one" for some time.

I was very proud of him, and offered to split dinner with him at a nice place.

"I have a better idea," he said, "My parents have a house out of town, and they're away for the weekend. I have the keys to their place. Let's have dinner in."

I trusted Corey and we were both in great moods. I was up for it, and he drove us to the suburbs.

We had dinner in, we ended up on the couch, and from there, his parents' bedroom (it was the largest bed in the house).

A door opened from somewhere in the house.

I jumped off of Corey.

"Shit, shit, shit," he repeated, as he leaped out of bed.

He pointed at me and said, "Get in the closet."

"Just close the door and explain it to them," I suggested, "Or throw on a robe and go out and distract them while I get dressed."

He scrambled over the bed and pushed me, lightly, into the closet, and shut the door behind me. "Just in case I can't delay them," he explained.

He threw on his pants and shirt and left the room. I heard his voice among other voices, and figured that he was diffusing the situation. He had obviously made a bit of a misestimate regarding his parents' plans!

In the meantime, I slipped out of the closet, put my clothes on, and made the bed as nicely as possible.

After several more minutes, I figured that it was safe to leave the bedroom and find Corey.  I wasn't sure what he was telling his folks, so I tip-toed my way to just outside the living room, where he was speaking to what sounded like two younger people, a man and a woman.

I peeked in.  Corey was indeed talking to a young couple, probably early twenties, on the couch.  I figured that everything was okay, and I stepped out.

The man and woman turned to me, and the man at once asked, "Who are you?"

Crap.  He didn't tell whoever these people were about me.  I said, "I'm Joanna.  Corey's friend."

Corey, who had turned a bit whiter, strode over to me and said, "Hey, Joanna.  Come with me."  Then he turned to the young couple and said, "I'll be right back."

He ushered me out of the house and said, "You have to go."

I said, "Uh... you drove me here.  What's wrong?"

He sighed the biggest sigh I've ever heard, like I was some sort of stupid infant and should've figured it out on my own.  He said, "Look, I like you so I'm going to be honest.  My younger brother showed up with this girl who... this girl who... who I've just really liked for a while.  And so I was trying to convince them to leave, which I would have done, if you didn't come in and interrupt us."

I stared at him, unsure of how he expected me to react.  Hell, I didn't even know how I expected myself to react.

"So you have to go, or at least wait here," he said quietly.

I replied, "Drive me home right now, or I'll give you a lot more trouble than you'd like to have."

He smiled and made as if to laugh, then his face snapped into an angry mask and he pushed past me, toward his car.  "Fine!  All right!  I'll take you home right now!"

He turned to me and said, "You're the one who wants to go home!  Are you coming or not?"

I heard myself say, "Never mind.  I'll call a cab," and I walked away from the house, past him, and down the street.

"Come on, I'll drive you home," he called after me.

I found a bus station after wandering around for the better part of an hour, and I made it home safe and sound.

A Bad Case of the Dates on the I Like You Podcast!  Check it out here!  Yay!


  1. You should've stuck around. Whatever was going down in that living room had to be more exciting than wandering around dark streets for hours.

  2. Seven-Thirty9/17/2010 9:42 AM

    The OP was slightly indiscrete in coming forward unbidden, but it was the right move in retrospect.

    In a just universe airborne molecules of coital juices were in the air and registered in the other girl's subconscious, leading her to reject the guy. In an unjust universe the OP became more attractive to the woman he really preferred.

  3. So wandering at night for hours was preferable to actually calling that cab, eh? On the bright side, dude is never going to get with his brother's friend - it would have happened by now if so. If a woman is going to sleep with a guy it happens in the first two years she knows him, provided he's available - note to all guys waiting and hoping.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. ^Hmmmmm.....? What was there I wonder?

    I can understand wandering for almost an hour. A walk to cool down and collect your thoughts is sometimes needed.

    I'm surprised, but not really, that a guy would blow up his own spot like that. If he hadn't said anything about liking the other girl, he could have salvaged the night. Obviously he likes her enough and is flighty enough that he has to say something.

    Never work your way around a party, it's rude, selfish, and shows everyone that you're quite insincere and lacking in credibility.

  6. Cluracan13 - There was nothing there really. I just wanted to post my profile pic twice in a row as my own double-slit experiment :P

  7. Error! Nice to see ya back. Sorry someone with tig ol' bitties beat you out :(

  8. An OP with actual self-respect? My God, Jared, moderate better!

  9. I'm confused. He said he was trying to get his brother AND his brother's girlfriend (or friend, whatever) to leave, yet he also said he liked the other girl, so... ???

  10. Thanks Fizziks! Actually, I'm the one with popular large ta-ta's (they have more friends than I do). She was a cute young blond thing in a really short skirt and thigh high fishnets. Sex on wheels basically. I can't fucking compete with that! I think I even saw his eyes bulge out of his head for a split second when he first saw her.

    I give the OP kudos for splitting, it feels pretty crappy to be runner up.

  11. Fizziks: Looks like you succeeded (12:03 & 12:06) in your double-slit experiment by your double posting! Now I know what it's like to see your perineum from space!

  12. ^Yeah, I have to use the Superdome as a speculum.

  13. No way would I have taken the bus; I would have made that bastard take me home and completely ruined his night. Instead she let him go right back into the house where he could make up some story and try to save face with the girl he really liked.

  14. Agnes is a troll! No one listen to her! SHE'S A QUAKER!

    In other news, welcome back, Error! I feel your pain, but always because in high school, compared to my big-tittied friends, I was the "ugly", funny friend. I was constantly being passed over for other girls. Although the bartender that kept me in free drinks once told me that before he saw my big-tittied friend, *I* was the one he wanted to give him a blow job.

  15. It's a clever move, Nikki - keeping the busty pal around for distractions when your sugardaddies start pushing for some action :P

    In my book, you're tops! And not just on account of your "inner beauty"; unless by that one means your lovely self unsucessfully trying to scale my cervix keeping you prisoner. Mwahahahaha!

  16. Aww Jared. Nice podcast. You know what we like. A good, ol' fashioned OP pitch-fork and torch march. Best parts: "vitriolic", "whack-a-doo". Fabio IS indeed my dream man.

    It's like you know us better than we know ourselves.

  17. I'd interpret it that Corey's original plan was to get rid of brother/other-woman, finish banging the OP, and *then* meet up with other-woman at some point in the near future.

    Cake and eat it thing.

    Corey was upset that the OP made him look taken, since now other-woman is even LESS likely to be interested in Corey.

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. Me too, Married! I wasn't necessarily disappointed, as I always enjoy watching someone trying to bang two people on the same night fail to get away with it (ohhhhh hijinks), but there should be more fat bitches in this story.

    And thank you, Fizziks for your kind words and for allowing me out of your vagina that time I needed to be present at my brother's wedding. He complained that I "smelled like poon" but we all got drunk enough that it didn't put a damper (heh) on the evening. I think you're rather fabulous too. :)

  20. "Sex on wheels basically. I can't fucking compete with that! "

    Yes you can. Go for it girl!

    There's a certain attraction about women that try too hard.

  21. ^^Quite the opposite.

  22. Thanks KillingTime, I'm trying, but I think I agree with 5:01. Hate to say it (and hate to play it), but it's part of "the game" that is so annoying. If you act less interested they seem to pursue you more. If you put it all out there up front, you are clingy and more likely to be rejected. That's my experience anyway.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.