Time to Invest in Better Jogging Shoes

Submitted by Jennifer:

Last May, my town held a Relay for Life at the local high school. It was a 12-hour walk around the track from 7pm to 7am.

Before the event, I went there with a friend to sign up.  While there, we met Russell, who was also signing up.  We talked, I thought he was cute, and the three of us decided to do the walk together, thinking that it would be a good way to learn more about him.

The evening of the walk arrived.  It was hot out, so my friend and I both wore athletic shorts and tank tops.  Within minutes of starting the walk, Russell looked my friend (who is a bit chubby) and said, "You probably should have brought sweatpants and a jacket."

He then looked at me and said, "Girl, you are damn fine! I hope you wear those booty shorts all the time."

Finding his behavior beyond rude, my friend and I walked faster and talked among ourselves.  But Russell was relentless. He jogged to keep up with us.

He started telling me about his job as a cashier at Jack in the Box.  "I'm probably going to be promoted to assistant manager."

I talked to my friend about her plans for the summer, hoping that he would take the hint.

Instead, he said, "Today some girl gave me a blow job in the bathroom so I would give her free food. She was hot.  Hotter than you."

My friend and I continued our conversation, ignoring Russell completely.

All of a sudden, the guy yanked down my pants.  I grabbed my shorts from around my ankles and pulled them back up as fast as I could.

By the time I was dressed again, Russell was running across the field, shouting profanities such as "bitch" and "cunt" in my direction.

I haven't been to a Jack in the Box since.


  1. abadcaseoftheobvious:

    This was not a date.

  2. argh don't think of a red cow either... you mean calling her a b... argh ... a fa...

  3. Nothing makes me hotter than hearing about a guy's anonymous blowjob from a cheeseburger floozie. Makes me scream, 'Jizz in my Box!'

  4. Really, Seven-Thirty? A criminal complaint for pantsing the girl? This isn't a bad case of the rapes; it's a bad case of the assholes. I'd like to think that if the girl wasn't so passive and had just come out and said, "You're being incredibly rude, and we'd like you to leave us alone" that he would have taken a different route, perhaps, just calling her a cunt and her friend a fat bitch.

  5. Don't get mad at the dude for calling it like he saw it. Op specifically brought her fat friend to make herself look good and this guy just pointed that out. Don't hate on Captain Obvious. I mean, when I go out to bars hunting for skanks I take my fattest ugliest friend along (Sorry to call you out like that Fizziks) to make my C.H.U.D. ass look awesome. A good technique, you just got called on it.

  6. Another one? I think my bookmark has changed to abadcaseofbeingbotheredbycreepycrazyguys

  7. The part about the guy running across the field yelling obscenities makes me think of Happy Gilmore: "Jackassss!"

  8. I agree with 7:30, and I'd file a criminal complaint against "Russell," for sure. Maybe I'd be wasting my time. But then again, maybe I wouldn't - what if he does rape the next woman?

  9. He pulled your pants down? Awesome, that means he really likes you! Although I guess if you're not eight years old that's not much of a comfort.

    PS Does that "blowing for free food" really work at Jack in the Box? We don't have those in Canada... :(

  10. Sounds like he was just hoping to put his jack in your box.

  11. Wow 3:12, how long did it take you to come up with that one?

  12. Christian...I would bet the only way you'd get a BJ is to have a job...even as lowly as at JitBox...and you'd probably be willing to get one from a guy as well.

  13. 4:02 It was joking, I would never play around on the job. Now taking someone home from the job is a different story.

  14. Seven-Thirty8/16/2010 4:58 PM

    Come on, Nikki, if a guy saw someone pull his daughter or wife's pants down, he would deck him and the chances are the police would let it slide. But if you don't have someone to physically defend you, what are you supposed to do?

    A gun nut might suggest that every woman jogger's booty shorts should have a concealed holster for a semi-automatic pistol.

  15. Is that a semi-automatic pistol in your booty shorts, or are you just happy to see me?

    I don't know. I guess my perception of the whole thing is skewed b/c in Maryland we're currently dealing with a guy who puts his semen in squirt bottles and sprays it all over women walking through store parking lots. When you compare something like that to pantsing...it just doesn't seem that bad.

    And the OP could have decked him herself, but yeah...that's not the sort of situation you really prepare yourself for as a woman. I'd probably freeze up too, but I wouldn't file a police report unless he escalated it. I'd probably go to the event organizer and let him/her know what happened to see if security could have the douchebag removed from the premises. (The police in my town have enough to worry about and have a HUGE back-log of unsolved actual rape cases anyway.)

  16. Seven-Thirty8/16/2010 6:38 PM

    OK, fair enough. It's better to walk away from some situations rather than waste time dealing with officialdom, which as everyone knows doesn't ring up three cherries everytime you pull the lever.

    But if he had given her a wedgie, would that warrant a complaint?

    (Due to dyslexia I had to Wiki wedgie. There are acutally melvin, minerva, atomic and hanging variants. I was only thinking of an ordinary wedgie. There is also an involved Wiki entry on pantsing. So many sublime variations of cruelty.)

  17. Thespi Anne, that "what if he rapes the next one" has to be the dumbest statement I've heard all day, and I work in customer service. I'd find a guy leaning in for a kiss to be much more of a suspect for potential rape than someone just pantsing someone.

    For the record: I don't label those who lean in for kisses rapists. Only when the bitch is tied up and has a knife to her throat, when she didn't ask for it.

    I really hope Gulliver doesn't chime in with a "Fat bitch" comment. This one's just too easy.

  18. Are you sure you didn't arrive at the Special Olympics instead of the Relay For Life? It'd explain Russell's behavior and why you're only going in circles for your race. Maybe if your friend wasn't such a glutton for free cheeseburgers her scrote-like eyelids could have read the signs to the correct event. Russell probably thought she wanted the shake, fries, and toy this time around. You know, because she's...

    Btw, Fizzik's it's very nice of you to donate your minora as a track but to charge $5 for parking on your perineum? It's a charity event for God's sake!

  19. To coin a phrase, the OP really "dodged a bullet" on this one.

  20. She sure did Anon 3:18. She sure did.

  21. Okay, let's get something clear. Removing anyone's clothing without their permission is assault. Dressing it up in cutesy terms like "pantsing" doesn't make it any less wrong.

  22. While you're probably right, let's lay some legal mumbo jumbo out there for us to process and chew on: http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/assault

    Pertinent section: "There can be no assault if the act does not produce a true apprehension of harm in the victim. There must be a reasonable fear of injury. The usual test applied is whether the act would induce such apprehension in the mind of a reasonable person."

    The OP didn't seem (from her story; obviously we don't know her total feelings on the subject) as though she was feeling apprehension or at risk of being harmed. She seemed more embarrassed by having her pants around her ankles, flabbergasted that someone would do that to her in public at a charity event, and highly, highly annoyed.

    I still maintain that going to the police first rather than the event organizers and their security team would be a bit excessive.

  23. Okay, then, make it battery:


    Either way, I found many of the comments about "just pantsing" inappropriately dismissive. Removing someone's clothing against their will, either in private or in public, is illegal.

  24. ^^^Sounds like the anon above has had a bad case of the pantsings. Did you cry to the police too, or did you take it like a man?

  25. Fine. She's a battered woman, taken advantage of by a crazed, rejected lunatic. She could go to the cops, and they would have arrested the guy and then immediately released him. From the story, it doesn't sound like the OP would press charges.

    Until he starts following her around the Relay, whispering threats to her or showing up outside her home, I really don't see him as a threat to her anymore. With a job like "almost manager at Jack-in-the-Box," I doubt he gets many opportunities to be around women long enough to rape them usually.

  26. A Battered woman!?
    Better send her to the Tempura House...it's the place for 'lightly battered' women

  27. I wish all the battery my dad put me thru just involved my pants around my ankles.....

  28. 11:40, I was hoping someone would make a tempura joke! Where's Cluracan when you need him? I could use some hot Asian (food). ;)

  29. Don't feel so bad. I went on a blind date one time and the guy felt the need to tell me that he loves it when a porn flick is playing in the background when he's, "...getting his groove on."


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