Submitted by Christine:
Jeff and I were coworkers at a realty office. I had been working there for a little over a year and we had playfully flirted back and forth for most of the that time. It didn't come as a surprise when he asked me out, and we both agreed that we'd keep it on the DL.
We had arranged it so that he would pick me up at my house on a Friday evening after work. That whole week was filled with some of the most over-the-top, intense flirting that I've ever had. It was like a dam, ready to burst.
At the agreed-upon time, there was a knock at my door. I opened it, and there was a single red rose. I smiled and looked around. No sign of Jeff, but there was another rose down the walkway to my house. I picked up the first one, then walked to and picked up the second one.
There was another one on the sidewalk. He had laid out a trail for me. My heartbeat fluttering lightly in my chest, I picked up one after another around the block until the trail stopped at a car with tinted windows. Its rear passenger door was slightly ajar. I giggled and opened it.
He was inside, buck naked, legs spread. A final rose leaning up against his crotch.
I screamed and turned away, but couldn't help laughing. He called, "What's wrong? Get inside."
Still looking away, I said, "Would you put some pants on? Please?"
"No. Get inside. Come on."
I stepped away and said, "We can still have our date. Just get dressed. Please."
He said, "I can't wait. You're so beautiful."
After going back and forth like this for a minute, the whole time praying that nobody would walk by, I finally convinced him that we should go through a proper date before anything else.
The entire time at dinner, he didn't act altogether interested in me, and by that point I was turned-off enough so that I didn't even feel comfortable giving him a kiss at the end of the whole thing (which is all he got).
We didn't go out again, and our relationship is perfectly cordial. Still, every time I see him at work, I picture him with that rose, and it makes me shudder.
AH HA HA HA!! That was awesome.
ReplyDeleteJust how heavy was this week of flirting?
ReplyDeleteHahaha thats why you don't go out with coworkers OP!
ReplyDeleteBest story yet! HAHA
ReplyDelete=^o.-^= <---- Nikki's awoken cat
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that was hilarious. That guy may have only been out for sex, but you have to give him points for being creative about asking for it.
I was thinking that, too, Nicki! XD I thought the waffle story would be the ultimate case of this sort of thing, but this is just . . . wow.
ReplyDeleteI can't understand why the OP would go out with him after that. I would've gotten the fuck out of there!
So you still went on the date and then kissed him? mixed signals much? or perhaps a free meal was on your agenda.
ReplyDeleteBahahaha, good story good story
ReplyDelete... So why didn't you have sex with him?
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA! funny story i laugh so hard that i feel off the chair
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAHAHA, hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteWomen and foreplay... so damn complicated.
ReplyDeleteHow dumb are you for "convincing him you could go through a proper date first"! What on earth could have changed on that "proper date" that would make the beginning ok?!
ReplyDelete^ wouldn't she feel like more of a whore if she made him spend money first?
ReplyDeleteI don't get all the pussyfooting women do. This is 2010. You want to, he wants to, so just do it already. Who cares if the dude gets laid easily? Is that a crime?
He's the dumbass here. The OP was amused, and clearly entertaining the idea of some major fun later on - but he's too caught up with his hormones to understand that she may not be into a spur-of-the-moment romp in his car.
ReplyDeleteAll he had to do was to turn off his dick, and turn back on more of the charm that had obviously been working until then, and a few hours later they could both have been playing eat the donuts, or whatever.
9:16 - And still, in 2010, women are slept with and not called back. We make dudes wait to make sure they are in it for more than the sex.
ReplyDeletehehe, great story.
ReplyDelete1:20 - What's wrong with not getting a call back? Isn't once enough for you? Damn, greedy... ;-)
ReplyDeleteHow did he knock on the door and get back to the car so quickly that she didn't see him? Did he do it naked? These are the things that I wonder.
ReplyDelete"...giving him a kiss at the end of the whole thing (which is all he got).
ReplyDelete"
Wait...She kissed on the what ?!?!?!
-
;)
Wow, that is a thorny situation! When you looked in the car was he "arosed"?
ReplyDeleteThese crazy situations remind me of the board game Mousetrap.
Now to find a furry who has a mouse outfit...
James McAvoy on Shameless in the back of the van anyone? One of my favorites scenes by the way, replayed that a few times.
ReplyDeleteIf he's hot, tell him to put his clothes back on and get in the house. Then have your way with him. I'm pretty sure you missed out some great sex here, and probably more later.
^ If he's hot, why not have sex with him in the car? Sometimes it's more exciting when people walk by. Especially children. I love it when children watch me have sex in the park.
ReplyDelete