Wallet Whereabout Woes

Submitted by David:

I met Brianna in college, but we really hit it off at a friend's party about a year after graduation.  I asked her out for the following week, and she agreed.

We decided to meet at a local coffee shop, have a chat and see where the night took us.  When we got to the cafe, we sat down and placed our orders.  I reached for my wallet.

It wasn't there.

Now, I'd never had a panic attack before, but I'm pretty sure I came close at that moment.  I remembered changing my clothes right before I left my house, and must have left my wallet in my other pants or something.

After embarrassingly explaining the situation and apologizing to Brianna, she said that it was no problem and offered to pay.  I felt like a total moron, but was relieved that she was so gracious and forgiving.

Once I got over my mortification, we actually started having a really pleasant night.  She didn't mention the wallet snafu at all, we had a great conversation, and she really seemed to enjoy talking to me.  I couldn't believe that things were going so well when an hour or so later I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around and saw my father.  He held my wallet.

"Hey son," he said, "Look what you forgot at home again!"

See, I was living at my folks' house at the time and I had told dear old dad that I was meeting Brianna for coffee.  He must have noticed my wallet sitting wherever it was at home and thought to himself, "My idiot son just went out on a first date without his wallet!"

Part of me was touched that he cared enough to attempt to salvage my date, the other part wanted to pretty much die right there.

Dad left and Brianna, to her credit, just giggled and told me that she thought it was sweet.  I agreed and appreciated her being so kind, but any attempt to keep things going was beyond hope.  I felt completely embarrassed for the rest of the night.

We went out again once or twice after that, but it was not meant to be.  Every time I looked at Brianna, all I could see was my father standing there awkwardly, waving my wallet in front of me.


  1. We've all been there, OP, but man...you really could have recovered better from this situation and not let it totally tank your possible relationship. :/ It really wasn't that big of a deal; hell, most of the college grads I know spend a year or two living at home after graduation. And God knows most parents would have done something FAR more embarrassing in a similar situation.

    Oh well. Hope you've gotten less awkward as time has gone on.

  2. "...and son, I tucked one of your 'small sized' condoms in their in case things get a bit heated tonight with your your lady-friend.."

  3. ^It's "there," but a good example of how this situation could have been so, so much worse.

  4. So she was a pretty cool and you showed you have a caring father, how dreadful


  5. ^It's "You're" and I think you meant "gangster" instead of "gangsta".

    Whoot, grammar police out in full force today!

    I know how embarrassing that can be OP. I went to a place recently and forgot they only took cash. I was also mortified but managed to not let it wreck the date.

  6. ^Actually, "gangsta" was the correct term, Architect. A "gangster" works with the Mafia and brings to mind criminals like those on The Sopranos and John Gotti. "Gangsta" rap is a genre predominantly appreciated by disaffected African-Americans in urban environments (and me). Main themes of "gangsta" music include slappin' bitches, riding around in one's '64 Impala, fuckin' tha po-leese, and using guns to intimidate one's enemies.

  7. I'm with 8:47. What a pansy!

  8. Yeah Architect!

    Nuthing bettter two do 2day then korrect gramer? Wow. Ewe shure loook dum now, doncha?
    Also knot knowing "Gangsta" beeing a korect term shows you're GEEKINESS and AGE! Phag.

  9. Hmmm... a story completely devoid of douches? Disappointing, but thank god for the comments.

  10. Hmm, I think the OP should have gotten over it. I understand feeling embarrassed the night it happened, but he didn't have to let the whole thing haunt him afterwards and ruin the relationship.

  11. Seven-thirty7/23/2010 3:56 PM

    Parents are embarrassing. It's in the nature of the beast. It would have been a goodline to ask her if she'd kiss a guy whose father kept his wallet in a drawer.

  12. My Dad would have done the same.

    Gotta love the old man.

  13. Howie Feltersnatch7/23/2010 5:20 PM

    Gotta hate people who refer to their father as 'the old man'.

  14. I expected it to end that the father took the wallet from the girl's purse, because she'd stolen it. This version didn't turn out to be such a bad date.

  15. LOL @ Howie: your username appeals to my sometimes sophmoric sense of humor. I am not sure how this is a bad date though. For the most part it was pleasant but for a couple of awkward moments which happens in about all first dates.

  16. Too bad the OP let his vanity ruin a possible relationship with a very decent-sounding girl.

  17. Meh, OP sounds like an over-sensitive douche (the father and the date were nice and normal). Brianna dodged the bullet here.

  18. Sounds like the father was the bad date here!

  19. Brianna should have hooked up with the Dad. He has the money. Dad is even willing to go wingman for his sexually ambiguous son.
    The OP can cure his Oedipal fears when walks in on Bianna and Daddy

  20. Wow. You missed out because she sounds like a sweet girl. Have fun at home being dutch-ruddered by your dad while your teary eyes only see Brianna fading away to the slap of a closed wallet.

  21. @Howie: I love your name too! I've never heard that one before. It sounds like one of those lawyer commercials during daytime tv.

    "Have you been injured? Did your date totally blow it missing every opportunity to get to know a great person? Did they move too fast or too slow or didn't move at all due to some circumstance that was, NOT! YOUR! FAULT?! Weeee can help! Call me, Howie Feltersnatch of the law firm, Feltersnatch, Ibn-Pharteen, McCrotch, and Bris!"

  22. Brianna and the Dad are cool. OP is a bit narrow-minded. Why can't you just thank your dad, apologize to your date (once) and get on with your life? You're lucky your dad would do that for you. I know some whose own fathers would keep the money if their wallets were left lying around the house.

    I say move on!


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