Ups, Downs, and Downs

Submitted by Tom:

Angela was a student loan officer at my college.  She was just a couple of years older than I was, and we met as a result of my stopping into the financial aid office to check on my loan status.

The first time I met up with her, we joked around a bit and spoke more about each other than about my loans.  Because I thought she was cool, I made another appointment to see her next week.  I didn't want to waste her time, but I figured it would be obvious why I had opted to meet with her again.

Sure enough, at our second meeting, our words went from platonic to flirtatious in a hurry, and I asked her if she wanted to hang out after work one day.

She took my hand and pulled it close to her and said that she'd love to.

Fast forward to our date, it became one of the strangest, most uncomfortable experiences of my life.  The perfect encapsulation was if we were walking, she'd take my hand.  Just when I'd give her hand a squeeze, she'd drop my hand for no reason and keep walking.  Why take my hand in the first place, if you're not going to hold it?  That's small.  There's more.

At dinner, I said, "You're very pretty."

"And you're very handsome," she replied, making me feel great for a second before finishing, "A lot of guys who go to this school are cute."

Here's another one: she traced her fingers up my arm before saying, "I can see us getting really close.  Like a brother and sister.  A brother and sister who don't have sex."

At one point, I had to clarify, "This is a date, right?"

She said, "I don't know.  Is it?"

I told her that I thought that it was.  Didn't she?  Her response was a shrug. 

I didn't know what to make of it at first, but then convinced myself that maybe she was just taking it slow, and that she didn't like the idea of labeling things.  I could understand that.

Until after dinner, when we took a short walk around campus.  We stopped and sat down on a bench by a fountain.  She looked at me and said, "I'll bet that you're an amazing kisser."

Thinking this a transparent cue, I went in for it.  She laughed and pushed me away.  She asked, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Showing you that I'm a good kisser."

She said, "Slow down there, cowboy.  We're just friends."

I had enough of her mixed messages.  Maybe she was confused, and she had every right to be.  However, that sort of hot-and-cold behavior wasn't what I was looking for, so I walked her back to her car and called it a night.

I drove my own separate way, and received a text from her about 20 minutes later.  It read, "Are you still on campus?  I'm possibly reconsidering that kiss idea."

I didn't respond, as I was possibly reconsidering going to bed, waking up, having breakfast, and finding a woman who wouldn't "possibly reconsider" anything.


  1. Seven-thirty7/27/2010 8:04 AM

    Perhaps the OP will now post missing paragraphs about sex that Jared cut from the published version?

  2. lololol i got u good

  3. She thought you were gay.

  4. "Like a brother and sister. A brother and sister who don't have sex."
    The fact that she had to state that second line to clarify the first one is disturbing.

  5. Hi. That's really weird you should say that "Seven-thirty", this isn't the full story!!!

    I didn't write that last paragraph, that's not what happened. After she called me about the kiss, I went straight back to campus. I was apprehensive about continuing the date, but she was really attractive and I'm a young guy... who wouldn't?

    When I knocked on the door of her place (she lived just off campus), I heard more than one voice inside. My heart started pounding, nothing good could come from this, I was getting ready for a pounding from a boyfriend/husband. Just when I as about to take off at high speed, I realised both voices were female. Before I had a chance to think further, the door opened and Angela greeted me. She said something but I couldn't concentrate since she wearing just a bathrobe, with what seemed like nothing underneath.

    The door continued to swing open, and the owner of the second voice was revealed. Yep, her Mom!

    I covered those fine asses with man milk all night long!!!

  6. 'Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down'..

    I was with someone like this, briefly. You seem like a pretty decent person Tom but not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Most people know exactly what they're doing. You can't reason or rationalize with crazy, you can only fight crazy with crazy & that usually never ends well.. it's fun though.

  7. Seven-thirty7/27/2010 10:27 AM

    The OP should have retorted that he saw them more like cousins, distant, fornicating second cousins.

  8. Nice one, 9:18 -

    I got no funny today; this story was waaaaay too similar to how my ex's parents got together. The tragedy is that if his dad had been nearly as realistic as Tom, then we may have been spared his birth.

  9. Could also be that the true story went like this:

    Angela, behaving unethically, read the OP's entire student loan folder, and discovered that he listed regular $150 deposits from the local fertility clinic, which she deduced came from beating off to help lesbian couples father childr... oops, I mean conceive.

    When she confronted him with this knowledge he replied "you're a twisted sister."

    Then she retorted that he was her evil twin brother.

  10. Fizziks, don't worry about the wrong people having kids. There is a new movement to stop global warming, whale killing, etc. It's called the "The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement". Google and enjoy the concept.

  11. She was testing you. Lame. Next time put her in her place. Girls like that.

  12. "A brother and sister who don't have sex"?

    Is that something that one should have to clarify?

  13. Frank, I'm glad you finally found a website where it might seem like your pre-fab post was relevant. It's tough finding a delightfully snarky comment on a wingnut website and having no place to post it.

  14. Nice try, 9:39, but I'm actually the real OP.

    When she texted me, I did drive back to campus, but she lived in a sorority house.

    I was met at the door by close to a hundred beautiful girls, each more sexy than the last. About five of them grabbed me and force fed me viagra (which of course I didn't need) and literally carried me into the hot tub.

    Each of the 200 sorority girls sucked my wang in turn, until after the 300th, Angela showed up wearing nothing but a huge raging hardon.

    She grabbed my hair and whispered into my ear, "My name is actually Andrew", as she forcefully jammed her cock my ass for 397 hours straight.

    Turns out Andrew was their sorority boy who had lost a bet. FML

  15. Nice try, but I am the real slim sha...


  16. @12:19 - ...and that's why you don't use a one-armed man to scare someone!

    @9:18: Maybe she means the OP can be like brother and sister who don't have sex but have lots of frottage and awkward family dinners after. Perhaps pay someone to pretend to be the parents in the other room almost discovering them as they....discover....EACH OTHER!

    @Sawyer: Thanks. Now I have that crap-ass song in my head.The only reason why I know it is because every store/restaurant/etc has it on their corporate station and play it all the fucking time. Ugh! Just awful!

  17. @Sawyer: I've never heard that song. I'm kinda thankful now.

    I love all the alternate endings on this date, but I'm gonna have to go with the hypothesis that she was hoping you'd be her new gay best friend. Whompers, but at least you only had to spend one date with her hot-and-cold crazy ass instead of a long-term relationship.

  18. Is anyone else falling in love with Nikki? Nikki, I have an alternate ending you might like!!! Grrrr......

  19. ^Rowr!
    I mean, you're a troll.
    I mean, our date ended with you covering me and my mom in chocolate sauce and having your dog lick it off while you jerk off in the corner.
    I mean, your sentence composition is lacking in creativity and intelligence.

    GIVE IT TO ME, ANON 6:32!!

  20. Now to reveal my true identity....Nikki, it is I, Anon 6:32!

  21. The Architect, ha! There is something winsome about Nikki, though.

    re: hot and cold song by Katy Perry
    Catchy and annoying tune that is played at the pool when the (mainly post-menopausal) women do water aerobics. After listening for months, I checked out the music video. Horrible. But there is a cover by a Ukrainian polka band which is good.

    There is no accounting for popular taste.

  22. Oh, Architect! Now that I know that YOU were Anon 6:32 all along, I can only say...KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, ANON 6:32!


  23. Damn....too soon for me to woo you. I had hoped to whisk you away to a bad date of our own that we might write up opposing views and blow up the comments section slinging mud at each other. Alas, now we'll never have the chance to truly hate each other. ;-P


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.