The Broken Pole

Submitted by Greta:

For date number four, Joe and I went camping.  We were discussing the plan for the trip, and I asked him when he wanted to go shopping for food supplies.

He told me that he had it covered.  I pressed him for further details, and he said that we would fish for our dinner at a nearby lake.

I didn't have a problem with fishing, or with eating cleaned fish, but I didn't like the idea of going into the wilderness solely dependent on that for our source of food.  I asked him if we could to to a grocery store anyway, just in case.  He told me that I could if I wanted to.  I sure did.

On our way there, he'd joke with me a bit about the bag of quick, easy-to-make meals that I had brought.  "You don't think I can catch anything," he jibed, "Oh ye of little faith."

I was sure that he could catch something, but why not go into things prepared?  What if there were no fish in the lake?  Or none edible?  I always wanted to have a backup plan.

We made it to the campsite, and I volunteered to set up the tent while he went out to the lake.

After setting things up into a quaint little campsite, I walked down to the lake to see if I could spot him.  He wasn't anywhere that I could see, which was a little disconcerting, but there was an inlet or island further out, and I assumed that he was on it.  Cell phone reception?  Not a chance.

I set my chair up at the edge of the lake and read there, hoping to spot him soon.  He finally did sail out from behind the island and I waved.  He didn't wave back.  Maybe he didn't see me.  He was out until it became pretty dark, and finally returned.

"Hey sweetie," I greeted him, "How'd it go?"

His fishing pole was broken.  I gasped, "Oh no!  What happened?"

He threw down his pole pieces in disgust.  "I caught jack shit, is what happened."

"What happened to your pole?"

"It broke."


He said, "Take me back to the campsite."

I led him back, where he promptly crawled into the tent and zipped it up behind himself.  I called after him several times to ask if he wanted dinner, but after a while, I figured that his pride was too wounded to be anything but bitter.  I repeated that it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't control the fish, etc.  Nothing would coax him out, so I was the only one of the two of us who had dinner.

After dinner, I read a bit by the light of an electric lantern, and finally crawled into the tent.  I put my arm around him, but he shoved it off.  I shifted away, and that was our torrid night in the wilderness.

He was gone when I woke up.  I went down to the lake, and he was out a ways, fishing, using a piece of his broken pole.  This was ridiculous.  I looked forward to the trip to spend more time with him.  I couldn't care less about whether or not he was able to catch a fish that day.

I called out to him, "I'm making breakfast!"

He called back, "I'm catching breakfast!"

I returned to the campsite, made breakfast for both of us, and waited.

He returned in the early evening, with nothing.  He hadn't eaten for more than 24 hours at this point.  He sat down for a while and ignored everything that I said, then turned to me.  "All right.  Let's pack it up."

I thought of half a dozen arguments, but swallowed them all, realizing that, in an instant, I had gone from wanting to spend time with him to wanting to be as far away from him as possible.  We packed up the site in record time, left it, and he dropped me off back home.  He never contacted me after that, and I wasn't exactly motivated to talk to him, either.


  1. If you would have blown him that first night, I bet the entire date would have gone better.

  2. Gullet Bed Odd!

  3. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. But not in that lake!

  4. 9:28: Haaaa!

    (This post is best enjoyed with - the Family Guy clip of the cat lawyer telling Stewie a joke and him going "Haaa" in response - in mind).

  5. I don't know if I'd go camping with someone on only the fourth date but I'm guessing you both hit it off pretty well up until that point.

    It's better that you found this out now because who knows how he might have handled other adversity in life? Not real adversity, that is somewhat predictable, but his adversity.

    -Teaching your future kids to tie their shoelaces. Can't do it? Make them walk to school with floppy feet!

    -Trying to bind your hands to the bedpost for sex! Can't do it? Uses super glue then loses his erection and cries in the corner while you defecate yourself over the next 20 hours.

    -Breakfast in bed! Can't do it? puts the coffee grounds in the pillow case, pisses in it, then tries to strain out a cup by waterboarding you with it.

    You dodged a tantrum bullet.

  6. ^Hahahahahhaha ridiculous.

    This was a good bad date. Thanks for sharing!

  7. Even if he did catch a fish, who wants to eat trout 3 meals a day?

  8. This story is from a few years ago and then I married Joe instead of you, right?

  9. @9:09 seems to have forgotten that he had a broken pole.

  10. I'm very outdoorsy and the first rule of camping (especially remote camping) is that you never assume you can "live off the land" while there. In fact, that's considered a rookie mistake. I bet he was just pretending to be outdoorsy to impress her and couldn't handle it when his fishing plan fell apart.

    There are plenty of real men out there who would be thrilled to find a chick to go camping with!

  11. Seven-thirty7/28/2010 1:18 PM

    Did the OP remind him to check to see if he remembered to bait the hook?

  12. "It broke."

    Sure it did. Nothing is more instantaneous a turn off than a man who has temper tantrums and throws and/or breaks things.

  13. Joe is the real hero in this story. He lived by the sportsfishing rules - after catching and release the old trout.

  14. So, his pole was broken, huh? Couldn't she have done something to help? Most of the time, when I tell my girlfriend that I "broke my pole," she provides the necessary correction.

    Just saying....

  15. A Bad Case of the Shits... Another shitty one

    Camping on the 4th date, if he didn't break the pole then it would have been marriage by the 6th date.


  16. ^ Yes, because marriage obviously comes very soon after a camping trip...

    Hell, if you would have gone to a restaurant with him on a date, the next step would obviously have been to get pregnant, right?

  17. Nothing yet about greasing the pole before use?

  18. ^I, too, am kinda surprised by the lack of fishing-related double entendres, beyond the obvious "broken pole" jokes.

  19. Ahem:
    He could have come back to camp and eaten her trout all night long.
    She needed to show him how to handle his pole better.
    ....Man, I thought I could come up with more of those. I think I'm losing my funny. No wait....
    Op should have just put on some fish nets!
    Joe was sad he didn't catch a fish to exaggerate the size of because no amount of exaggeration could help the length of his rod.

  20. I guess the OP was "fishing in shallow waters!" Ha!


    @11:39: Hehe, who WOULDN'T want to eat trout 3 times a day! Ha!

  21. ....and by trout I mean big floppy vagina, like two fish trying to dance the worm on each other.

    Y'know, in case anyone didn't get it.


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