Smash it Up

Submitted by David:

Andrea and I were out at dinner on our second date when she realized that her ex-boyfriend was sitting near us with another young lady.

Aside from mentioning that fact and studying them for a few moments, Andrea handled it maturely and we returned to our prior conversation.

It was close to a half-hour later, and I had actually forgotten about her ex at the neighboring table, when he and his date stood up to leave.  He spotted us, whispered something in his date's ear, and approached us.  His date continued outside.

"Hey Andrea," he said to her, then turned to me and continued, "Hey asshole."

I'm not antagonistic by practice, but the opportunity was too good to waste.  I replied, "I can see why Andrea broke up with you."

"Say that again?" he asked me, leaning in, then went on, "Andrea and I are none of your business, asshole."

I said, "There is no 'Andrea and you.'  You two aren't together anymore."

Andrea joined in.  "Who's the girl you're with?"

"None of your business," he said to her.

I said, "Well, then if it's none of my business and none of Andrea's, then why are you bothering us?"

He stepped back and smiled.  "I'll definitely be in touch with you," he pointed to Andrea, then said to me, "And I'll be waiting for you outside, asshole."

I wasn't in a mood to fight, but I was done talking.  Andrea apologized over and over, and I assured her that she had nothing to be sorry about.

When we finally went outside, her psycho ex was nowhere to be seen.  We made it back to our cars, though, and Andrea's window was smashed.

We called the cops, made a report, and we parted ways.  She must have said, "I'm so sorry" close to fifty times.

We're still dating, and that guy hasn't shown his face again.  Still, it's a little rough to be looking over your shoulder every time you take someone out.


  1. I hate guys like this. I've been in a similar but opposite situation before though. I used to go out with this girl (who was a bit of a bitch tbh) and she had this ex who used to text her all the time asking her to "dump Ellis and go out with a REAL man" "Let's get together, because I could do things in bed he never could" etc. We used to laugh about it and play along by sending replies along the lines of: "Yeah sure, meet me at at and we'll ". Tbh now I think about it she was probably cheating, although I don't know why, he was a fat ugly nasty bastard.

    Anyway, I eventually broke up with her (tho we remained friends) and a month or so later she ended up going out with him. But he started not allowing her to talk to me and approaching me in the street threatening me and accusing me of sleeping with her, despite me being completely innocent of this and eventually rarely even seeing her.

    Six months later he's still continuing this crap, so when I next saw her (without him) I decided to forget about his crap and spend some time with her to catch up. Which we did, and one thing led to another. Since he was being such a dick and threatening me and accusing me of having slept with her already, I felt no remorse for sleeping with her four times behind his back after that, before finally feeling guilty and stopping it, advising her to tell him what had happened. Last time I spoke to either one of them lol. Tbh it was probably as much her fault as his, since I strongly suspect she was manipulating the whole situation herself.

    Payback rules though ;-)

  2. ^This is not your blog. Go vomit uninteresting stories somewhere else.

  3. This is NOT the Jerry Springer Show, Ellis. No arguments between the KKK and gay-Jewish-black dudes here please!

  4. Ellis, I'm sure your pet hates you. So do I.

  5. ^^ lmfao i love this site

  6. i actually liked ellis story it was relevant so stfu

  7. First. FIRST! First to comment on the actual post, that is. // It's rare to hear about a stalker from the viewpoint of the new partner of the actual stalkee; thanks for the story. Andrea should be carrying a concealed weapon and be planning on using it on the dude the first chance she can get away with it -- which will probably be soon.

  8. ellis' story was only relevant in that he dated a girl who had an ex, and so did the OP.

  9. I have an ex too... Let me tell you all about it!

    Nah, nobody gives a shit.

    (See there Ellis? See how easy that was?)

  10. All of you just shut up. Ellis' story was no worse than the OP

  11. LOL @ Anon 10:35

    I really have to wonder what the douchy ex said to his date before she walked outside. "Hey baby, I see some friends over there. Why don't you wait outside for me." Then he goes outside and tells her "Hey baby, do you mind walking with me over to my friends car? They asked me to vandalize it and I could really use that brick you keep in your purse."

  12. Ellis: I like your story.

    To the others: Haters gonna hate.

  13. Ellis, you have my permission to post your own story, rather than piggybacking someone else's.

    No, please, don't mention it. You're welcome.

  14. ^ Ellis, please don't. Your story sucked, and I'd rather not have it invading my RSS feed. Reading it once was enough.

  15. LOL @ The Architect, I agree completely. It's something I often think about when gang rape is mentioned too - how do these people find each other? "Excuse me my fine fellow, I quite enjoy a spot of rape. Nothing finer than raping a lady, in my opinion. I say, you like to rape the ladies as well? Thank goodness! I mean, if you didn't that would have been dashed awkward, old chap. What what."


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