I'm a Little Bit Country, You're a Little Bit Crazy

Submitted by V.:

I met Tim online. We'd spoken on the phone just about every night for a week and decided that it was time to meet in person.

I arrived first and wandered around the shopping center, waiting for him to arrive. When he came over to me, he immediately went for a kiss, which was a little forward for me, so I presented my cheek. He chuckled and told me that I looked beautiful.

I thanked him and he stepped back, gestured to himself and said, "So?"

"So what?"

"Do I look like my pictures?"

"Um... yes."

I knew he wanted a compliment in return, but really, I was feeling no spark.  I honestly wanted to give him a chance, but I hate to lie and I also hate to be pushed into a corner.

He pushed, "Well, how do I look?"

"You're cute enough, I guess," which was true.

"Playing hard to get, are we?"

To get off this extremely awkward topic, I grabbed his wrist and told him to come with me, that I had something silly to show him.

I dragged him into a nearby supermarket where they'd misspelled the word "Deli" on the aisle sign (it said "Delly"). This wasn't terribly interesting, but it amused me. Apparently it amused him, too, because he took a picture of it with his cell phone, then said, "We'll be showing this to our grandkids one day." I chuckled because I thought he was just trying to be cute.

We went for a walk. He took my hand, which was a little uncomfortable, but I let it go because I'd grabbed his wrist earlier and thought that perhaps he'd got the wrong message. He told me how his mother made incredible enchiladas and that next week he would have her make them for us for dinner.

I just said, "We'll see."

Later he turned to me and said, "You think that I'm the best thing to ever happen to you, don't you?"

"Why would I think that?"

"Silly, it's written all over your face!  Hard to get, again!"

We started walking back to our cars, and he went on and on about how beautiful I was, how much his mother would like me, how much he wanted to meet my mom, and what our kids would look like.

Urgh. We made it to my car and he grabbed my head and planted one on my lips. I felt his tongue trying to push its way into my mouth and I yanked my head back.

"Modest little thing, hmm? This is wonderful."

I slowly backed away from the crazy man, got into my car, and got the hell out of Dodge.


  1. Getting on the freeway huh? That minx. She's too much!

  2. Shouldn't have fucking been playing hard to get, you stupid fucking whore cunt.

  3. Pepe Le Pew strikes again!

  4. Seems like many of these dates begin with 'I/we met online' and I'm just assuming (maybe wrongly) that the submitters are mostly from (North) America so is online dating like really that prevalent there and why considering most of them don't end or even start off that well?

  5. Online daters have given up on dating in real life. They retreat into cyberspace because it's not threatening and don't risk or care to make the effort to meet people outside their safe little monitor.

  6. sorry, but you both were bad dates here... if your resorting to online dating, guess what, your not much of a catch yourself, and you were judging this guy within seconds of meeting him...

    You were hypocritical too. You wanted to show him something silly, yet when he acted silly, you thought he was crazy.

    I've had dates joke about children, and I took them as just that, jokes... the only thing I thought was weird was the kiss at the end...

  7. Seven-thirty7/25/2010 1:04 PM

    If the OP spoke on the phone with the guy every night for a week, it's no wonder he thought something clicked. Odd that the successful conversationalist suddenly fell flat on his face.

    Hmmm... maybe they were just having telephone sex, so she never discovered how awkward and average looking he was.

  8. Listen to me, you children who think it's so easy to meet people to date; it's easiest at your present time of life, in junior high school. But the older you get the more people tend to be, well, married (you know, the way your mom and dad used to be) and you exhaust the pool of eligible people around you very quickly, especially in small towns or rural areas.

  9. @1:36: That's very depressing, so basically that's your reason for dating online being so huge in the states.

  10. @Sawyer86

    People get hurt dating in real life and are less likely to heavily involve themselves with someone because of that fear. With online dating it kind of gives you a little sense of control and emotional distance.

  11. Online dating is not all that crazy. I was a wild party girl who met a nerdy nerd online a bunch of years ago. We never would have approached each other had we met in the grocery store, but on paper we were a match, so we went for it. We're happily married for 9 years now.

  12. Seven-thirty7/25/2010 5:23 PM

    re: online dating

    Maybe it's dumb, maybe not, but honestly how many people click on the pictures of friends of friends on Facebook, looking at the opposite sex. You could strike relationships there, too. Would you call that online dating?

  13. Online dating isn't so crazy anymore. More and more social networking is done online because of busy, transient, and hectic lifestyles.

    If you're in undergraduate school or high school it's easier to meet people because so much of your social and work life revolves around school and meeting people. You're in encapsulated situations where you get to meet new people all the time.

    Post-graduate is like commuter school, you go to class and leave. Your interaction is minimum and hard to get footing with whether you want to ask someone out.

    It's especially hard if you work a 9-5 job and you're 30 years old and under. Most of the people you work with have been there for many many years and are married and much older than yourself. The bar scene can be an immature meat market full of shaky people much rather the situation under which you meet them. Unless you have a pub or a dive bar with regulars where everything's very chill and welcoming. If there's enough new or peripheral people brought in by regulars then you have better chances.

    The internet allows for someone to find out if there's even a possibility of opportunity, then see if there's an actual spark. Other situations are kind of completely up in the air, you have no idea what they're into or like outside of the situation of which you met.

    I've dated online but 99% of it was going on a couple dates and realizing there's not a romantic spark but damn we hit it off as friends really well because we have similar interests. It's especially useful when you move often or overseas, as far as making friends. I've found most people are very truthful online, but when people are deceptive, they're extremely deceptive.

    p.s.- Let's not forget meet-up groups, sports leagues, or other common interest groups that pull from the internet! Dodgeball, LARPing, activism, or even business network groups use the internet to meet and help out. It also helps to know other people are in the same situation you are as support.

  14. blah blah blah i thought that abcotd was past - actually WAY past - discussions about the pros and cons of internet dating. there are pros and there are cons.

    that "you think I'm the best thing to happen to you" line was funniest...

  15. Common sense from Cluracan13. Undergraduates don't realize what an easy situation they have. Romantic involvements are work can be cool, but they can also backfire.

    Bars are bad place to meet people in general, unless you're out with friends and spontaneously meet someone. The meat market scene is weird.

  16. Online dating is lame. Everything is lame.

    Sawyer, are you saying that the USA is the only country where people date online?

    (I'm from the USA, and I don't date online. I have sex with bar skanks, and don't date. Herpes isn't so bad once you get used to it. It's not like you have to tell anyone...)

  17. I'll advocate for online dating as well. Aside from all the great points from Cluracan13, I think what online dating really offers me is a series of filters. First the pictures can spark interest, then the description can give me a sense of the personality and finally and most importantly, her favorite movies, books and music. There is nothing worse (for me anyway)than meeting a girl and asking what kind of music she's into and she comes back with "I'm really into jam bands and I love Dave Matthews Band...they are, like, the best EVER!" Or finding out that she's "not really a *reader*" and her favorite movie is "Traveling pants of the ya ya sisterhood". Thankfully all this is usually covered in their profile and they can be quickly passed over in search of more fertile ground.

    Yeah, there are quite a few crazies out there, but also some really great people. I've had a few relationships with people I've met online and have had an overall positive experience. Also met some really great friends too (Yeah you Fizziks, you fat bitch).

    Oh yeah...what was the date about? Never mind, standard comments still apply: OP, you were a real douche but good job dodging that crazy bullet.

  18. everyone here is wrong, you are all dumb. i came to ABCoDs to argue with people about stuff that doesnt matter at all because im having a bad case of living life and i feel the need to yell at anonymous people in order to inflate my poorly deflated ego!

  19. ^Apparently you also come to ABCotD to post the exact same comment on multiple dates.

  20. ^Apparently you also come to ABCotD to post the exact same comment on multiple dates.

  21. @the Architect: Exactly! Filters. Think of the difference in how you might feel about:

    Person A: "I love Nickelback and Justin Bieber! Reading is alright but I'd much rather be chilling wit my gurls and watching the Hills!"

    Person B: "Big Trouble In Little China is one of my favorite movies ever!"

    Obviously Person B is someone with impeccable taste, persuasion, and sophistication. That is someone I'd like to shame myself sexually with.

  22. Big Trouble in Little China does rule.

  23. So does shaming oneself sexually.

  24. Oh my gawwwdddddddd. It's sad to know that there are some guys that are THIS oblivious and unaware of how to pick up clues on how much (or little) a woman is interested in you.

  25. ^ I usually find it better to make someone feel extremely uncomfortable if I can tell they're not interested in me, but are hanging around anyway. It turns into a game for me. The more awkward, the better. Sometimes I try to convince them to let me pee on them. You know, to mark that they're mine.

  26. @rifraf everyone was a n00b once i myself only found about this site sometime around this past february and i don't know about everyone else, but i don't click on every comment link but only the ones where i have something to say about the story, speaking of...

    OP, when he tried jamming his tongue down your throat, i think you should slapped him before he could finish his sentence


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