Submitted by Shannon:
I met Albert at a lingerie-themed house party in college. He was cute and we hit it off well, so we swapped numbers.
A few days later, he called and asked me out to a movie. He said that he wanted to see a new movie called Shortbus. I hadn't heard of it, but agreed anyway.
Shortbus turned out to be just short of a porno. I wish that I had known that when I had agreed to see it with him. It was definitely not something that I was expecting. At that time, I wasn’t really into the indie film industry, and as a girl from a small town living in a fairly large city, it was pretty shocking. But I tried to be cosmopolitan about it and laughed it off.
After the movie, we went to a hookah lounge. We made small talk when he said that he had a secret to tell me. "I'm really a freshman, I'm 18."
At the party, he had indicated that he was my age, 21, a junior. "Okay, well, thanks for being honest," I replied. I had dated younger men before, so no big deal.
"I've got another one for you," he continued, "About six months ago, I got a girl pregnant."
I started choking. When I had recovered, he rushed to say, "We were stupid and weren't using a condom. I totally learned my lesson from it. It's cool. She paid for the abortion."
I was raised a pretty strict Catholic, and for a first date, I didn't expect to be told about his past impregnation of a girl and the abortion of his baby.
He went on, "About two months ago, I got a different girl pregnant. She said that she couldn't get pregnant, so we didn't use condoms. It wasn't my fault. She was excited about the baby, but I convinced her to have an abortion too, and I paid for it again."
That ended the date.
Moral of the story: he was going to impregnate me and then pay for my abortion.
If he hadn't told you about the two abortions on the first date, it would have been hard to explain the shellacked embryo art in his bedroom.
ReplyDeleteLong story short you turned down a free abortion.
ReplyDelete^ A winrar is you.
ReplyDeleteHanding the girl a wire hanger is not the same as paying for her abortion...
ReplyDelete1. She paid for the abortion.
ReplyDelete2. and I paid for it again.
Careful you dont step in the bull.
So, you were okay with going to a lingerie themed party, but not okay with going to see a kinky movie?
ReplyDelete-Baku-chan
I think you mean shellacked fetus art, Fizziks. It's kind of hard to display a single cell let alone shellac it.
ReplyDeleteIt's always hard when you start to trot out your baggage for the date and then they freak out and pepper spray you. Hate him for not using condoms not for his abortions.
"I totally learned my lesson about not using condoms. Oh, but wait, there was this other time that the exact same thing happened because I wasn't wearing condoms..."
ReplyDeleteWhen he catches the hiv, I'm sure he'll still neglect to use condoms.
That's what happens when the strict catholic goes to a lingerie party.
ReplyDeleteIpdar, the single cell is a zygote, not an embryo. The next stage is blastocyst, already a multi-cellular tumor just waiting to be extracted. The inner part of the blastocyst becomes the embryo. If you had the notion that embryos are uni-cellular I think you are confusing that with your neural tube during development.
ReplyDeleteSee, I've had lots of kids, just none I've carried to term.
^ Haha, I wondered about that too.
ReplyDeleteSeems this bitch likes to pick and choose when she lets her catholic guilt get the best of her. Lingerie parties and using birth control are perfectly fine. Abortions? Murderer!
"I didn't expect to be told about his past impregnation of a girl and the abortion of his baby."
What baby? It wasn't a baby yet. Baby go flush!
Frank Zappa wrote a song about the morals of Catholic girls, but what did he know?
ReplyDeleteOP dodged a bullet, abortion ain't no joke.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, every time someone says "abortion," I giggle a little.
ReplyDelete"We were stupid and weren't using a condom. I totally learned my lesson from it. It's cool. She paid for the abortion."
ReplyDeleteA real gentleman would pay for his girlfriend's abortion. Douchebag.
I actually think Shortbus is a good movie, and I personally wouldn't call it porn. But I think it is fair to tell someone what they are walking into. That is not the kind of movie you blindside someone with, unless you are an ass an doing it on purpose - which I suspect is the case here.
ReplyDelete^ When I first watched Shortbus, my friends and I didn't know what we were getting into either. I loved it; most of them didn't. There was no mention that the OP's date saw the movie first, then thought "You know what? I'll make her uncomfortable by taking her to watch orgies!" They could have both been clueless about the movie to start.
ReplyDelete1. I am a Catholic, but I've kept an open mind about most things. Lingerie-themed parties, Shortbus, abortions? I take them all in stride. Even my mother can talk about sex in front of us and not be all flushed about it...
ReplyDeleteSo here's what I've got to say:
Abortion = sin - repent for your sins; Hypocrisy = do us all a favor and shoot yourself.
^ You're the worst Catholic ever. But that makes you a better human being. :-)
ReplyDelete^ HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha.........
ReplyDeleteWhew, that was some funny shit.
...Being from a small town, did that mean that she didn't know how to go to imdb.com and look up a basic synopsis of a movie she was about to see? I mean, yes, no one expects to be taken to see a soft core porn on the first date, but if you're unfamiliar with a movie you're going to see, why not do a little research and save yourself the uncomfortable hours in the movie theatre?
ReplyDeleteProbably because she didn't expect to be utterly blindsided by this douchebag's idea of fun.
ReplyDeleteI know. The local parish priest hates me :D
ReplyDeleteBut then, IMHO the guy should have held off those pieces of information for a little longer if he really just wanted to talk to someone about it? It's not something you talk about with your date...probably a friend, but not a date. And then of course, he seemed to have a lot of money considering he can pay for an abortion. Why not just use a condom? It's way cheaper...
But OP, really...your sense eludes me.
At least you have an expectation of how future dates will go. A handle of Svedka and a staircase is all you really need!
ReplyDeleteSounds like he was priming you for anal sex, you know, so that neither of you would have to pay for an abortion...
ReplyDeletesome things are best left unsaid...
ReplyDelete