Women's Rights, Woman Left

Submitted by P.:

During the summer of 2006, I signed up for a popular internet dating site. Like most people my age (36 at the time), I was working and taking care of kids. I didn't have much spare time, so I figured that this was a good way to meet people.

I met Peter on the site.  He seemed nice, said that he was 46, had a good career, and was pretty conversational.  He lived over an hour away from me, but when he asked me out to dinner, I agreed.

He picked me up near the main entrance to my housing development (I didn't want him to know exactly where I lived just yet). When he arrived, it was clear that he was at least 15 years older than he said, and his online picture was obviously from many years earlier. He was also wearing a leather jacket that I'm sure he saved from 1970.

Having hired a babysitter, I wanted to at least go out and have a nice conversation, so we went to a Japanese restaurant, which was about a ten-minute drive. Once there and seated, I realized exactly how shallow this man was.

He kept telling me how much money he had, how large his house in upstate New York was (after all, his neighbor was none other than Hillary Clinton!), how much money he spent on his boat, etc. etc. etc. It was really quite boring and insulting.

After another one of his "I was talking to Hillary the other day and she's really a nice person," comments, I asked him what he thought of her policies. I explained that I thought that she did a disservice to many women that were being emotionally abused by staying with Bill Clinton after his multiple affairs.

His response? "Oh, I don't get involved in politics. I haven't voted in 20 years." Great. Just a shallow, apathetic man.

He barely asked me anything about myself by the time that dinner ended. We got back into his car and I gave him directions to my development.

Instead, he pulled around to the back of the restaurant, took off his seat belt, and was all over me before I even knew what was happening.

I explained to him that I wasn't interested and that I just wanted to go home. He laughed and tried again. I more forcefully explained to him that I wasn't interested and pushed him off of me.

That only seemed to turn him on even more, so I reached for the door handle and tried to open the door. It was locked (automatic locks), so I told him that if he didn't take his hands off of me, then I would scream bloody murder. He finally understood, pulled away and drove me back to my development's entrance.

While I was walking home, he called me. I thought that he might have been lost, so I answered the phone. No, he wasn't lost. He told me how disappointed he was in me because he wanted something for driving all that way and I could have at least given him a blow job.

I said, "So meeting me and spending time getting to know me wasn't enough for you?"

He arrogantly said, "I wanted more." I wished him luck and hung up on him.

Needless to say, I don't date people I've met through the Internet any longer.


  1. I find people who lie about their age really pathetic. Sure, age is just a number, but lying about it only encourages the judgemental and narrow-minded views about aging in our society. I say the OP dogged a sad, little, flaccid bullet.

  2. OP, sounds like the guy was a jerk and you were fine, however, I totally disagree with you about Hilary. So she loves her husband. That's not really political. What I REALLY like about her is that she makes it pretty clear that she's separating her public life from the political. Almost no one does that anymore. When asked about gay marriage, she said that personally, she wasn't for it, but that politically, she was since she felt it was a legal right. Sure, I wish she was personally for it, but as long as she does what is legally correct, I can support her. (Also, Upstate NY? Houses and land are REALLY cheap there!!)

    1. The Clintons live in Chappaqua, which is actually a wealthy suburb of New York City. Houses and land are not cheap there.

  3. You really could have at least blown the guy... Just a little...

  4. Why did you answer his call? Let him get lost!

  5. Bill Melater6/21/2010 1:19 PM

    Don't blame internet dating for a bad date...meeting somebody at a bar; being set up; etc. etc. all have their fair share of loser dates. I met my wife online.

  6. ^ Did she blow you on the first date?

  7. It's sad that there are so many men who are so self-absorbed and self-entitled that they seem to be under the impression that women are only objects that exist for their own "use". It's one reason why I don't even bother dating; why bother when it's not ME their really interested in, just my body? The sad thing is, I'm sure there are plenty of men who are sweet and caring, but too shy and hard to find!


  8. Seven-thirty6/21/2010 4:06 PM

    The guy was a jerk.

    A friend of mine who dates online complained about an analogous type on the part of women. According to him, they post a picture so that they can receive compliments and flattery from guys who are desperate to meet women. The women don't actually want to meet them in person but merely want to receive attention.

    This is not physical exploitation, but emotional.

  9. Amazing how many men are the same vain ignorant boastful self-absorbed clueless idiots at 60 that they were at 20. [Ok, boys, I hear you screaming out there. And so many women are, what...?]

  10. Baku-chan,

    I'm sorry that you've been "used" by "so many" guys that you have removed yourself from the dating pool out of conviction that every guy you meet only wants to screw you. Perhaps it's for the best though; many of the dates on this blog should have had the kind of sense that you do.


  11. You see, Fizziks, Nikki (4:54) can dole out a mixture of criticism and kindness. Her response to Baku-chan appears at once understanding, but implies that Baku-chan may be unnecessarily wallowing in bitterness.

    I'll bet the kids her school go to her for advice.

  12. Nikki,

    I'm not, as Frank says, "wallowing in bitterness". In fact, I've only ever gone out with 2 guys, my priority being college right now. It's actually friends of mine who have gone through guy problems. Nowhere in my comment did I state that I had been used by a guy. What I mentioned about myself not bothering to date because guys would want only my body was hypothetical and not based on actual experience. I hope I may be fortunate enough not to be one of the people posting here sometime :-)


  13. Baka-chan you're going to be living a very lonely life if you shoot down every single guy who hits on you.

    If your college friends don't know how to find decent men they are looking in all the wrong places and that's their problem. Don't prevent yourself from having fun and enjoying your life because of incorrect preconceived notions of how males should act.

  14. The guy was awful but OP for some reason made me dislike her too.
    Oh and a disservice to women? everyone has a choice you know, she loved her husband!

  15. Baku-chan, I don't think shooting down guys hitting on you = a lonely life. Good for you for being focused on school and not wasting your time on random guys. HOWEVER, I hope you do get out and have some fun now and then too. Aint nothin wrong with a summer fling ^_^

  16. Dammit, Frank, you're like the herpes I managed never to get in college. Now I've got to take the medication to make you go away again. :P

    Baku - I agree that focusing on school is important, but I also agree that you shouldn't let your friends' negative experiences with guys warp your own social life/dating. Good luck when you DO start dating, and if you end up here (and really, we all do some day), make sure to sign your real name so Gulliver can call you a fat bitch. ;P

  17. ice cream sales increased in the summer time. shark attacks increase in the summer time too. Does ice cream cause shark attacks? no because there's no direct correlation. They both have summer tiem in common, but one isn't the result of the other.

    thus, blaming the internet for your bad date is so 1998. sounds like you're single with kids. do you blame bars and restaurants for your baby-daddy? is it Jim beam's fault?

    The internets is just a serious of tubes, stop making it a scapegoat.

  18. This lady dodged a bullet. The guy was a class A @$$hat


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.