And She Ruined My Best Frying Pan

Submitted by Sherman:

Nancy was actually the girlfriend of a guy I played frisbee with in college.  I was surprised when she got in touch with me five years after we had all graduated; surprised because she and I had barely ever interacted, and I had assumed that she and my frisbee teammate had gotten married or moved away or whatever it was.

I didn't ask her why she reached out to me of all people, but we caught up over the phone, she told me that she and her college boyfriend had broken up three years ago, she lived nearby, and asked if we could do drinks sometime soon.  Why not?  Despite the question mark hanging over the circumstances, I rationalized that she just wanted to hang out and talk over the past.

She gave me the biggest hug, and I ordered drinks for the two of us.  She pounded down several, became more and more touchy-feely, and was finally about as legally on top of me as one can be in public.  I asked her back to my place.

She attacked me with unbridled passion as soon as we stepped into my apartment.  She ripped off her clothes and we slammed onto the bed.  We went at it for a while, and her moans and yells became softer and softer until finally she wasn't moaning or yelling at all... she was breathing heavily.  Or... wait... was that...?  Oh no.  She was crying softly.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

She swallowed and let out a sob.  I stroked her face and again asked her if everything was all right.  Then, she said something that knocked me flat.

"That wasn't like him at all.  And I really wanted it to be." She buried her face into my neck and cried her heart out.

I held her for the rest of the night, and she alternated between crying and moving away from me in the bed as far as she could go.  Then, she would reach out for me, only to push me away again a second later.

In the morning, I woke up to the smell of eggs being cooked.  No, wait... eggs burning.  I jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen.  Eggs were certainly burning in the pan on the stove, and Nancy was nowhere in sight.  She must have started them, thought better about waiting for me to wake up, and left in a hurry.

I never heard from her again, nor did I reach out to her, thinking that no good would come of it.  I hope that she's doing well, whatever she's up to.


  1. Wow. What an un-ironic, sad little tale. You don't see those too often.
    My third thumb, up.

  2. That's actually a really, really sad story. I mean, yes, the date definitely was bad. But I feel for that girl. I probably would have done the same thing in that situation. College & relationships can really mess a person up sometimes.

  3. ^You would have done the same thing in that situation? I know Frisbee teammates known for adventerous fucking, but planning on them being identical in bed? That's just your vibrators, hon.

  4. 9:31AM note: By "same thing" I mean hold and console the girl all night and feel bad for her.

  5. Sherman? Seriously, SHERMAN? Your parents do not love you.

  6. Phil McCracken6/22/2010 11:23 AM

    ^ haha...my thoughts exactly. Sherman. Sure Man.

    You should have turned it around and fake sobbed and said back to her..."You're not like HIM at all either...he and I were together the entire time you and him were...and he WAS delicsiou"...or something gay to that effect.
    Ha. Sherman!!! Golly-gee-Whiz! Go figure!

  7. @9:31 - ah, sorry there sweetie! You can understand my confusion, I hope!

  8. You couldn't have at least TRIED to be like him? Maybe he had some kind of signature move or something...once you go frisbee player you don't go back?

  9. ^ True...but once you go with a boomerang player...you always go back.

  10. I'm pretty sure she laid those eggs right before she turned back into a frog.

  11. Pete Moss. You sir...deserve this in capital letters if I believed in them: bah dum dum ch.

  12. *sigh* And to think, usually people that slutty are lots of fun.

  13. Creepy o_O How can she possibly expect you to be exactly the same as this guy? How would you even know what he's like? Seems like this woman needs to let go of the past and not set standards based on an ex-boyfriend she hasn't seen in three years. It's not fair to the guys she goes out with. It was also rather dangerous of her to leave eggs burning on the stove; that could have started a fire!


  14. Ahahahaha, oh God, Sherman, I actually let out a gasp of something like shock and empathetic embarrassment!! Good bad date, sir!

    PS: I had sex with a guy back in college, and when we were done he asked, "So who were you thinking about the whole time? I was thinking about [MY lesbian roommate]." So I feel ya, brother.

  15. NIkki...you just gave me wood. NIce!
    ...course, a light breeze gets me hard too.

  16. Seven-thirty6/22/2010 5:05 PM

    Thumbs up.


    That'll be all. Thanks.

  18. No Nikki is.


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