Time to Have My Weirdo Radar Checked

Submitted by Clare:

I met James at a friend's party two years ago. He was funny, smart, and attractive, so when he asked me out for the coming Friday, I agreed.

When I got home that night, I found that I already had a friend request from him on Facebook. Seeing my opportunity to get to know him better before our date, I accepted his request and sifted through his profile.

He seemed pretty normal except for one thing: every picture on his page (at least 20 or more) was of him with one to five cats.  I imagined that this could mean one of two things: he was either extremely affectionate and caring, or he was one of those weird momma's boy types who cuddled his cats on Friday nights while his mom did his laundry and cooked him dinner. I later found out that truth can be stranger than imagination.

The conversation at the restaurant went fairly normally until he asked me if I had any pets. When I said that I had a cat, he exclaimed "Awww!" so loudly that the surrounding patrons turned to look at us.

After asking me about 50 different questions about my cat, he asked me, "Can I come over to see your kitty later?"

Thinking this strange but innocent, I told him, "Maybe next time, once we get to know each other a little better."

The subject changed, but five minutes later, he asked me again if he could see my kitty. I laughed, thinking that he was joking, and he looked at me with a more serious expression and told me, "I want to make your kitty purr.  Rawr."

He made a hand gesture. At that point, I no longer knew if he was talking about my cat or something else, but I was getting creeped out. I didn't say anything and took a bite of my food, hoping that he would change the subject, but he persisted, asking me, "Can I pet your kitty?" and "I'd love to make her meow."

I asked the waiter for the check.

The whole way back to his house, he insisted that I come in and see his cats before I left, telling me that he had "Quite a collection." I figured I'd see the damn cats and then leave, writing him off as someone I wouldn't be seeing again.

We pulled up and went in.  Five cats greeted us, and I asked him if he had any more.

He said, "Unfortunately, the others are no longer with us," and gestured to the fireplace. I followed his hand with my eyes, and was taken aback by the 11 stuffed cats that were definitely no longer with us. By this point this guy was on my weirdo radar.

I played it cool and told him that I should get going, and he got upset. I muttered my apologies for having to leave, and he shouted after me "You could at least say goodbye to my cats! You don't have to be so rude!"

I feel bad for the girl whose kitty he's trying to pet now.


  1. At least he didn't take you upstairs to see all of the stuff girlfriends that "are no longer with him".

  2. Years ago, I answered an ad for a roommate just like this. Thought it was odd that her 3 cats just sat there the whole time staring past me with cold, dead eyes. I just assumed all cats were like that. After she laid it on me that her cats were indeed bumped off, she lead me to the hallway where an entire wall was filled with cats she previously owned that were now in the big litter box in the sky. (Her words, not mine.)
    It was way too many cats for one 22 year old.

    Then I saw the room she was renting that was filled with kid furniture and dolls. I got out of their before I could grace her wall of victims.

    Not before she asked me if I had a boyfriend, and if I did, could I not bring him around? The cats would be sad if we broke up.

    People like this, they can't just stop at being weirdly affectionate towards cats. Cats lead to general creepiness leads to stalking leads to murder. Fact.

  3. Howie Feltersnatch6/17/2010 4:31 PM

    Stuffed cats?
    Sounds like a Chinese restaurant delicacy!

  4. lol, cats = murder
    True story.

  5. God, now I'm going to be haunted by the image of this guy simultaneously trying to make both YOUR "kitty" and his cats "purr." *shudder*

  6. Wow, that is exceptionally creepy. Hitchcock-Psycho-creepy.

  7. Holy shiznit! This fellow sounds straight out of Stephen King! The OP really dodged a bullet!

  8. I was wondering what his reaction would be if she said no I don't like cats I have a dog. Imagine what he'd do then?


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